Recidivism Home > Everything ever posted by x amount is lovingly featured here:

January 4, 2013

Hill Valley Man.

January 3, 2013

Death is in the room.

July 19, 2011

(don't know where anyone lives).


July 6, 2011

What's stopping me?


April 12, 2011

Jane, you're so funny.

April 3, 2011

Bruce McCulloch's Method of Problem Resolution.

March 28, 2011

TODD.


March 21, 2011

I don't believe this.

I'm stressed, I just started a new job, I'm vulnerable.

March 2, 2011

Simply.

February 7, 2011

Claudell Washington (#15).

January 13, 2011

And sidekick.

August 18, 2010

Flashing red light.


August 9, 2010

I want to save my throat.


May 1, 2010

The equivalent.

April 23, 2010

.

March 24, 2010

FIGURE IT OUT.

February 25, 2010

Bread.

December 22, 2009

And not for the better!

SAY GOODBYE

December 14, 2009

Related responsibilities.


December 6, 2009

Yo Washington Post, don't brag or boast.

Dissin' Flavor when he's butter that you put on your toast.

November 30, 2009

Pretty reasonable.

November 12, 2009

Cute as a button.

November 3, 2009

He cannot repair a watch.

There is no documentary I'm looking forward to more than Alley Pat: The Music is Recorded. James "Alley Pat" Patrick is an Atlanta treasure:

October 21, 2009

Afraid that was gonna happen.

In. Broken the code.

October 14, 2009

At least this guy's involved:

spaceman.jpg

August 21, 2009

I know everything... in the WORLD.

August 19, 2009

That's not a joke, that's a severe behavioral disorder.

From a design standpoint, all objects are facing / going inwards to draw attention to the main photo of Bill Paxton.

August 7, 2009

TO THE EGRESS.

August 1, 2009

That one arm.

July 17, 2009

Holiday Road.

July 8, 2009

Divine intervention.

This is one of the worst things I've ever read.

Handled.

[via Eppy.]

July 6, 2009

BREAKED HIS BACK.

July 2, 2009

Straight with it now.

[via @WeekendUpdate09.]

A murder scene.

June 12, 2009

737 Down Over ABQ.

May 23, 2009

Saluting to the crowd.

May 13, 2009

Ray Combs hates his wife.

Pay attention to the 1:14 mark. Anyone working today would bring in the twist. Mix it up. Make you feel bad for going along for the ride on the "fat wife" riff. Not Combs!

May 12, 2009

I don't have a baboon heart.

May 7, 2009

This is good.

May 6, 2009

Without enough accomplishments.

May 5, 2009

Senate bill S. 486.

April 29, 2009

Supercuts.

Michael, why are the drapes open?

Find me a ninja, for one.

April 27, 2009

Odometer fraud.

49 U.S.C. § 32703(2).

April 23, 2009

He gets props too.

April 15, 2009

The best thing about this is not the cat.

It's the glee.

April 14, 2009

OK.

March 25, 2009

No thanks.

March 23, 2009

A little speed bump.

March 22, 2009

Here comes the Fun Cooker!

March 19, 2009

I'm a Strong Lion.

March 10, 2009

We have to get back to the island.

March 5, 2009

New fun!

March 4, 2009

What Does Your Tube Look Like?

You'll be amazed.

February 20, 2009

I feel twitterers around me.

February 6, 2009

It was kind of the same.

No Simonsen this time, but set your recording devices for this Sunday anyway.

February 5, 2009

Anything for a shot.

February 3, 2009

Even the kids knew.

Hey Lorne, the other one even looks skinny enough to play Obama:
neither.png

February 2, 2009

Ickey Shuffle.

January 29, 2009

Embarrassing.

Obama plays to a room full of Olds and runs that hacky bit about non-northern schools closing due to ice and snow. Shameful. What's next, Mr. President? Talking about the run on milk and bread?

January 28, 2009

Because she is his hostage.

Horrible nostalgia.

January 21, 2009

Pulled pork!

January 19, 2009

MEET?

January 14, 2009

Tripe.

December 29, 2008

Yo-Yo Man.

[Skip the stupid video, all you need are the text guts.]

December 23, 2008

Merry Korean Christmas.

December 19, 2008

Zipper music.

November 26, 2008

I am excited about two things.

They are both contained within this poster.

November 20, 2008

Some.

November 8, 2008

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #020:

63%.

Where we're going, etc.

November 7, 2008

Dashiki.

We all thank you.

November 5, 2008

And crisp.

November 3, 2008

(NT PBR).

October 31, 2008

Tricks 'N' Treats.

October 20, 2008

Mtn Dew.

October 9, 2008

Self-Obsessed and Sexxee.

October 7, 2008

Two hours a day maximum.

So's you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.

October 6, 2008

No stunt men.

No special effects.

October 3, 2008

By stab, pt. 2.

I'm sorry.

Did someone say my name?

October 1, 2008

Fleeting = < 1.

By stab.

"He seemed to those accustomed to the usual run of office boys almost perfect."

September 30, 2008

Migrate worker.

September 29, 2008

The world is a different place today.

September 28, 2008

A million dollars for lipstick?

What have we become?

September 26, 2008

He has the cancer.

September 24, 2008

Request honored.

September 19, 2008

Chevy Show '08.

September 17, 2008

Who's Élite now, Bullwinkle?

September 16, 2008

Ain't no point to the game.

Anything between the ashtrays and the thimble.

You can front on that.

September 11, 2008

Scrubbies, pt. 2.

September 8, 2008

Spagett!

September 6, 2008

Prime cuts of comedic MEAT.

September 4, 2008

We ride with kings.

September 3, 2008

Riding in Cars with Brains.

August 30, 2008

There's an analogy for this scenario.

August 28, 2008

Mostly pennies.

August 25, 2008

Y: The Last Man.

I think they're holding auditions you guys!!!

August 13, 2008

Scrubbies.

August 11, 2008

But, sure enough, that's her.

August 3, 2008

Ana Garcia Fan Club.

August 1, 2008

Multifarious.

July 31, 2008

An environment that's not hip.

Like watching a real nightmare.

July 17, 2008

MyTime.

An attempt.

July 14, 2008

Now You're Talking My Language.

July 10, 2008

Or Typhoid?

Nah, 'at'd be water snakes.

July 6, 2008

Exactly like being in rock and roll.

June 27, 2008

FART.

June 25, 2008

Got him.

Locke.gif

May 31, 2008

Son, etc.

May 29, 2008

Boomin' granny.

May 28, 2008

I thought it was a joke about doing push-ups.

May 26, 2008

Awesome retouches.

Great job!

(Eat it, Grandpa.)

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #019:

Kinda looks like someone speared my spleen, but whatever. I'll take one.

[via the gf]

May 25, 2008

Mixed reviews.

I'll take "The Rapist" for $500.

May 21, 2008

ATE GLASS.

May 18, 2008

PITS.

May 17, 2008

Don't ask stupid questions.

Ask smart questions.

May 16, 2008

I found chapters 13-22 of TitC a bit self-indulgent?

Shaking their heads.

May 14, 2008

Bring that beat back.

May 5, 2008

Conversation mistake.

April 23, 2008

We saw.

I realize, now, that I have been swimming, many times, with sorcerers.

April 16, 2008

And he is.

April 10, 2008

Just asking.

April 5, 2008

These things happen.

March 28, 2008

I just smiled.

In a special way.

March 23, 2008

Illusions!

Keep your eyelids open wide!

March 22, 2008

His name is Barack?!

You can't be serious.

March 6, 2008

Tiananmen Boner.

[previously on...]

March 5, 2008

Poundcast is an Alpha Go. Confirmative.

March 3, 2008

I agree.

I didn't have a good idea of economics at the time.

The making of 60 Dollars.

March 1, 2008

I sure love my baby's poundcast.

Finally. DJ Douggpound gets his SDXE due.

Not sure if it'll be like his T&E live show warm-up DJ action, or this previous false start-y thing:

POUNDCAST III

Or maybe like these older things?:

"On a sesame seed bun!"

Printer Jam

"Are you a sweater?"

February 29, 2008

I C D B.

February 28, 2008

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #018:

Salad, sure. But weave 'em right and you're set for ice cream.

February 17, 2008

SPH.

February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day, homeless!

Love, McNulty.

[via haughey]

February 7, 2008

Can he be KARR?

I'm sure there's a bootleg Calvin and Hobbes sticker that sums up my feelings about this.

February 3, 2008

This I swear.

Patton gears up for Cliff Givens-level celebrity.

Dr. Octagon, please come to the office.

Come now.

January 24, 2008

Haze though?

Haze for sure.

[via GF.]

January 22, 2008

Shrimp and.

January 20, 2008

Ben Lee's down with the Ione.

January 16, 2008

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #017:

You shouldn't have.

January 12, 2008

The only song that didn't feature T-Pain.

Video this year (go back in time if you want the 2006):

January 10, 2008

Charlie and the Nazi Factory.

January 3, 2008

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #016:

Feeling generous today -- I'm going to match Jim's contributions, piece for piece.

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #015:

Gonna dress you up in my love.

December 27, 2007

Just give myself one more year.

December 22, 2007

Gimme a stage and a mic and a [Christmas] mix.

So close your eyes and hold your breath, and I'mma hitcha with the blow of death.

December 19, 2007

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #014:

"Typically, I would never advocate the addition of meat to a sweet cookie, but I've always viewed bacon as 'the candybar of meats' so I only felt slightly weird about it."

December 16, 2007

Critical Error.

30 Rock-quality green screen:

[via Paughsome.]

December 12, 2007

Michael, I've made a huge mistake.

December 8, 2007

K-Lever.

Eager to hear a preview of the album I'll be purchasing this Tuesday, I found a version floating around online. Not sure if I've just never seen this, or it's actually taken this long for someone to come up with the idea, but look what someone stuck in the middle of my record!

no_peace.png

December 1, 2007

And if'n I drop, I'm gon' be in motion.

November 28, 2007

No F.

November 25, 2007

RACISM.

Tom's gonna run through the Bond movies. Fun categories!

November 13, 2007

Pamplin's lament.

Tell IT to ignore the link, too.

November 11, 2007

Backroom Policy.

I was always a little disappointed that the '95 tour diary never mentioned Russell Simins's stolen Experimental Remixes CD. I've still got it if you want it back, Russell.

November 8, 2007

The guy in the laundry?

[Never would have predicted that my 60-year-old dad's comedy idol would cross paths with the likes of Chelsea P. Warms my heart.]

November 5, 2007

RSS TECHNOLOGY.

Pro tip: RSS TECHNOLOGY will allow you access to future posts from the newly redesigned Tim and Eric WEBSITE.

November 1, 2007

Confessions. #011:

I've been totally ripping off a lot of these recently.

Portrait of the Artist as a Jacket.

October 31, 2007

Isthmus be my unlucky day.

Buckwheat.

October 29, 2007

Don't ask me if that's okay. Cause it's not.

Everybody saying it.

Everybody spraying it.

October 26, 2007

"Working Partners"

TAENL.

October 21, 2007

I am reconfirming that you are having a hard time.

"I am trying to say, 'Watch this, and you will be rewarded. Watch this. Pay attention.' It costs us a lot of money to shoot stuff. When I spend three seconds showing you a prop, that is for your delight. I am not telling you that the Relaxacizor is going to be used to murder someone. I am telling you, 'Look at this strange underwear that she's going to put on!'"

Avoid the spoilers and skip this interview with Matt Weiner until you've caught up on Mad Men. Netflix it up once it hits DVD. But come back and read when you've finished season one. Great stuff.

October 15, 2007

Wait a minute.

What's happening to my special purpose?

October 3, 2007

Peace is a word I've heard before.

Eat it, Paul's Boutique.

September 21, 2007

40 kilos.

September 17, 2007

Re: Flamingo carry-on.

"I was stuck like a worm. My eyes were as big as grapefruits," he said. "I can't describe the feeling in my stomach. I can't move up or down. The bars are on your face."

- J. Hanna, working you over with declarative sentence magic.

Oh, look at me.

I'm the crazy one.

September 14, 2007

It's back.

15 minute volley time! Madness!

September 13, 2007

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!

It isn't fit for humans now.

September 12, 2007

7-Eleven.

September 11, 2007

The Life Aquatic.

Just in time for the end of summer: the rarely-seen Spencer Elden training sessions.

September 9, 2007

Clashing sword sound-effects!

Not to mention Ghostface's "vividly rendered story about (seriously) going grocery-shopping at Pathmark and spilling milk on his pants."

Please be good.

September 6, 2007

MF Tony Clifton.

August 31, 2007

Joy.

August 26, 2007

I don't.

Don't they make all the music that goes on it?

August 16, 2007

Choose your own adventure.

fun.jpg

[it's just a wonderful photo from twentyonepictures is all.]

August 14, 2007

All shackles and bows.

Awesome graduation.

Great job!

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #013:

"Surprise your mouth with the smoked salt and sweet milk chocolate combination."

Okay. Don't look, mouth.

August 10, 2007

To help you with that.

August 9, 2007

Friday Night Lights = Dogme 95.

And I really have to see The Foot Fist Way now too. Thanks, PO.

Maybe in 2095 you'll twist to this?

Pharoahe Monche - "Welcome to the Terrordome"

( Simon says you might find a few more you Desire)

Public Enemy - "Harder Than You Think"

( Cherry pick the Flavorless tracks from How You Sell Soul to a Soulless People Who Sold Their Soul?)

August 7, 2007

Don't eat drugs.

[via the Super Deluxe!]

August 3, 2007

The ol' double-m!

I love Police Comimssioner Raymond Kelly.

Sooner.

APPLAUSE.

July 24, 2007

Breaks, disco, rock n' roll!

(also: that little guy will never not get me.)

Cafeteria workers.

July 23, 2007

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #012:

Rinse. Repeat.

July 22, 2007

People are scared of you, John!

[via Dead Frog.]

The hole in your face.

July 20, 2007

Prison life is structured. More'n some people care for.

From the YouTube description:

"1,500 plus CPDRC inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines at practice! This is not the final routine, and definitely not a punishment! just a teaser."

July 19, 2007

Miles away from ordinary: 15.

July 18, 2007

You're from like Shalanga.

Shangalangalang.

July 16, 2007

The Rise of PLANO!

July 14, 2007

I've got a folder to do.

AND! Ed's doin' it.

July 13, 2007

Confessions. #010:

One year at the new job. Zero stall visits.

The crazily encrypted private one?

SHIPPINGS BEST.

July 11, 2007

We "get that" here.

July 10, 2007

Reasonable use.

Alternate, less-accurate SL: I. Ron's Breathalyzer Challenge.

July 9, 2007

I think Edan just made a baby.

Edan - "Sagittarius Rapp"

( Go see what Egon's up to now )

[via the Stones Throw Podcast -- don't miss last Saturday's God Mix!]

June 28, 2007

Bears on one side of the gym.

Shy ladies crowded around the punchbowl on the other side.

Oh! To bring them together! Maybe Aerosmith's Crazy will do the trick?

June 25, 2007

Oh, look!

June 22, 2007

Pwchh.

Dead cat on the dirty ground.

Unlike Conan O'Double, I AM "crazy about the pounding garage-rock songs where Jack really overdoses on guitar-noise."

Skronkle-squeedley-doo!

June 19, 2007

Bluetooth'd!

June 18, 2007

Inset: the bee.

June 7, 2007

Max Fischer might show up.

But he will lose.

June 4, 2007

Brimley? Gimme a break.

I'd really like the town drunk from Hoosiers to weigh in on this one.

[via a love note from spencer.]

June 3, 2007

How standardized are the hot dogs?

It's a legit question.

May 30, 2007

Griiiindhouse.


May 16, 2007

"It gets blue at times, but very wittily."

I bet!

Also, I can't imagine what it's like to be sitting there seconds to air -- all tense with the knowledge that you might get to do a full half-minute of your stand-up act during WU! Under pressure! 11:29, baby!

People are curious. It's okay.

I have a question for you.

[via Adrock [and gang]'s little blog thingy.]

May 14, 2007

Chum reap suor.

May 9, 2007

Will Arnett is The Bear.

I don't care if Peter Pan is still off the shelves.

You need to pick up the pace with your peanut butter consumption, Grandpa.

May 7, 2007

Foldedless.

Tube tops.

Reality.

May 4, 2007

Telecommute.

[It's not that crazy, I guess.]

May 3, 2007

I've got a pant full of these.

April 28, 2007

Hallelujah, hollaback.

"He's a bit picky."

April 27, 2007

I'm so sick of this cocky jerk.

"Now I'm floating around in a plane, bleep bloop."

Don't miss the bonus footage of folks twirling the a-hole around like a toy.

April 26, 2007

The same old whoop-de-do.

April 25, 2007

Large burrito.

Lyrics to go.

And now you don't have to send Mike D a dollar to get them.

[also: the bit about Zoe hearing the "effortless" lyrics sounds like potential confirmation that the next Beastie Boys record might be instrumental after all.]

April 24, 2007

Fix it up, list it, mark it down.

Oh noooooo...

April 23, 2007

Still coasting.

You always expect to see something cool, but it never delivers.

April 21, 2007

There's been a rape up there.

In a comment on the original MySpace page, a Kelly LeBrock-smitten David Tash reveals this as the home where it all went down.

April 11, 2007

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #010:

We're gonna talk about butty on this plate.

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #009:

Were you bacon?

April 10, 2007

Lucas with the lid on?

April 7, 2007

Would you care for a glass of champagne?


April 6, 2007

Think about it.

Really get in there and mull it over.

April 4, 2007

Save me.

April 1, 2007

Pay that Delaware tax!

March 25, 2007

What else do you need?

March 22, 2007

Hopes and dreams.

That Grand Canyon skywalk thingie opened. Some people are NOT happy about it though!

Let's get.

March 21, 2007

If he ever gets good, he'll be of no use to us.

RIP, Calvert "Larry 'Bud' Melman" DeForest.

March 20, 2007

"Yeah, it's called a connection."

Guy got him. He's still working the material out, and the guy got him.

Laughable, man.

Last fall when the Nike+ 45:33 thing came out, I would pretty much yog to it JUST to hear the part that eventually turned into "Someone Great". I wanted to run to that part and only that part forever and ever.

Murphy talks about the transition (or the unintentional one) from "Someone Great" to "All My Friends" in this Breihan piece, but I really wish he'd talk about the 15:47 transition from twinkly to dark that the Nike thing does. I love that just as much as the song itself.

Low-level functionaries.

March 19, 2007

Hey, guess what!

My voice is pretty loud!

March 14, 2007

37.639 secondes.

Irritating.

March 4, 2007

A new approach.

[the original way.]

March 2, 2007

Theme.

February 23, 2007

I did my job.

Bobby T!!!!!

[Come black for part 2!]

February 16, 2007

Preaching to the choir, Miles!

Eric B. and Rakim.

ericbandrakim.jpg

[from the raffle winners section of a wonderful site.]

February 15, 2007

Skits Under Construction.

February 13, 2007

A shirt called:

February 9, 2007

Generic hotel rooms, floating bodies.

I bet these shots really get that Nowak lady's heart a pumping.

[sent (minus the nasty astronaut overlay) by eppy.]

February 3, 2007

Ineligible: This is not a game!

PHRASES MC SERCH IS REALLY TRYING TO WORK ON THE WHITE RAPPER SHOW.
----

"Break bread with you."
"Fall back."
"Be easy."

(bonus: interview where he doesn't discuss his latest pet phrases.)

February 2, 2007

We're all in the same gang.

Nas - "Where Are They Now (80s Remix) [feat. MC Shan, Raheem, Doctor Ice, Kangol, Kool Moe Dee, Sha Rock, Tito, Grandmaster Caz, Lique, Dana Dane, Pebblee Poo & Just Ice]"

Nas - "Where Are They Now (90s Remix) [feat. Redhead Kingpin, The Original Spinderella, Rob Base, Father MC, Monie Love, Mike G, EST, Positive K, Das EFX, Lords of the Underground, Chip-Fu & Dres]"

Nas - "Where Are They Now (West Coast Remix) [feat. Breeze, Kam, King Tee, Candyman, Threat, Ice-T, Sir Mix-A-Lot and the Conscious Daughters]"

And yeah, Chip Fu's enthusiasm makes you wanna dig that record back up fast.

( To catch up: spend $.75 x 31 here. )

Sometimes it works too well.

cookiecookie.jpg

Eppy's back.

February 1, 2007

Some part of hair, some limbs, jaws, limbs, hair.

Genuses.

January 30, 2007

To safety we are moving it.

January 29, 2007

The Shawshank Revision.

Defined by the constraints of exactly the same mechanical apparatus.

The turnstyle and elevator action shots are super nifty, but I also really dig the James P. Coyle-style write-ups.

Thom Yorke doesn't care about black people['s aliases].

quasivillain.gif

Cut from Yorke's K. Smithian first draft playlist: commentary on "Dr. Octagon's early production work with Ultramagnetic MCs" and a brief bit of insight into "how well Mistadobalina fits into the Gorillaz."

January 17, 2007

FRIEND ALERT!

Super Deluxe is LIVE. (Hit the Artists page to feel good about all the alt.names you recognize.)

January 16, 2007

He should be better at this by now.

January 12, 2007

Accounts of his height vary.

Gulley = gully.

[5-10 Jager anecdotes.]

January 8, 2007

The space between the question and the answer.

I can't listen to STREAMS. Horrible. Streams are completely useless when I'm trying to use my device (acrylic push-button model) in the car. So here's last Thursday's Fresh Air with Sacha Baron Cohen in mp3 format.

Army Debate Squad.

Michael Showalter's back is capable of many things.

There’s other ones with the cops and other people.

Wood Harris: not that into it.

January 5, 2007

Float like gravity.

January 3, 2007

iPod cool with Disney magic.

Fill1965: hey every1! r u having fun?
x amount: cool
Fill1965: wazup x amount? do you hav a boyfriend?
x amount: cool
Fill1965: how old r u?
x amount: Cheetahlicious

January 2, 2007

I wish it were me!

January 1, 2007

We had the bootleg before the season was over.

Skillz - "The Rap Up 2006"

December 31, 2006

In prep for tonight:

Sabreur, annulus, firm, drama!

(Also: death to the infidels!)

December 27, 2006

Nerd wage.

A priest!

Just covering contingencies.

December 23, 2006

Shilluenime.

[via TS's email newsletter in which even he is all "what the?"]

December 21, 2006

Mookie?

BKV: The Lost Man. HA HA!

Seriously though. This should help.

December 20, 2006

Step 1.

Cut a hole in a cow.

December 17, 2006

Make Optimistic love.

December 14, 2006

On Bravo!

New Michel Gondry video.

I guess they're clever and all, but I'm starting to tire of his obviously CGI-ed special effects work.

[via the gf.]

December 13, 2006

Blind people think they are so cool.

Nothing would be better for SNL's 2008 campaign skits-n-bits-ery than NOT going with the standard, Hammond-esque, by the numbers impression-fest. Of course the idea that Lorne would actually insert a random, hilarious Will Forte character into the mix is wishful thinking.

In conclusion, and in summary, vote for Tim Calhoun for Candidate for President for America for goodbye.

December 12, 2006

R.I.P.ping no more.

I never could unload all that Nelly.

Watermelon dominates the bowl.

God > JFK, Ghostface, MLK, Seinfeld.

December 10, 2006

Got those fancy laser eyes?

Then good luck during Armageddon or Africa.

No KKKramer.

Can I keep reading C. Thomas Breihan? 'Cause I'm gonna.

December 6, 2006

Rhymes with nerdy.

So it's probably just for me.

December 5, 2006

D. Hasslehoff + P.S. Hoffman =

December 4, 2006

Confessions. #009:

I've recently adopted Dr. Red Duke's sure-fire conversation-killer in which he asks if everything has an iPod jack. SAMPLE USAGE:

Dr.: What did you do Saturday night?
Me: I made love to my wife in front of the fire on the bearskin rug.
Dr.: Right. Does it have a jack for your iPod?

December 3, 2006

New, fun game!

See how far you can get! I couldn't get past number six!

[via I'm not sure how to refer to this multi-dude, but single-dude-named site.]

November 29, 2006

One more high-kicker down.

Probably stealing the Fiddle's ATL concert update thunder with this one, but Greg was noticeably absent from their recent Atlanta stop -- and it looks like he may never grace the Georgia Dome's candy-colored stage again.

Marlo's court.

And if you're not gonna volunteer your time, feel free to star map the rest.

November 27, 2006

So obvious, and so true.

"The people who buy music are the people who don't know how to download it, so they don't have any way of knowing what people on the internet are saying about the new Jay-Z album, and they probably wouldn't care anyway."

At best?

Not being killed by a heart surgeon.

Although too unbelievable?

November 24, 2006

Incomprehensive.

"A check of Craigslist's San Diego site yesterday showed such items as Chargers tickets, cars, trucks, bikes, electronics, household items and a children's computer starter kit, which included a keyboard, mouse and software."

(but no free baby boy.)

November 22, 2006

Tryout.

November 21, 2006

Ness!

Don't be old.

November 20, 2006

What goes up must go down.

David Milch is working to make sure that the camera is stationed at a tearless and unblinking distance.

November 18, 2006

Televised Programming Bulletin. #018:

Puppet Up! Muppets improv. One airing this Monday night before it gets chopped up and spread around.

November 17, 2006

You are very exotic looking.

Was your dad a GI?

November 16, 2006

At what point of decompose would the carcass cease being an animal?

Nice of the defendant's lawyer to invoke Billy Crystal in the motion.

2006.

Maybe next Thursday night?

While we're all sending invites, I asked Will over to clink forks with us at a tense family dinner.

Kick. Stand. Kick. Stand.

Coast.

Seismic.

November 13, 2006

GRIND, son, GRIND!

Louis Klein goes to so many SNLs, Forte wrote him into the show. Say when.

I saw it in a movie once.

A Spaniard lists Three Amigos. That's good.

But it took these nerds to get Raising Arizona on the board.

Let's make our own music for Spike Lee.

Hank Shocklee explains that he likes the low-res sound because "you can't pick out the exact instrument and things that are going on, and it kind of meshes it all together, so the frequencies of where the guitar and the bass come in are not clearly defined."

November 11, 2006

The tears of human children.

First, he distract you with his balls.

Then he steal your wife and touch horse in very bad way.

November 10, 2006

That Pulsar's pretty hot though.

James Bond is like a 5th grade version of me with the watches. Where's your thermometer watch, spy nerd?

November 8, 2006

Teeth.

November 7, 2006

He hates these cans!

Little three-year-old x junior came home from pre-school the other day telling us how they said the Pledge of Allegiance every day. At three! The whole daily RECITE WORDS TO PROVE YOU'RE DOWN thing feels kinda fascist now, doesn't it? A little? So I hit the wiki to figure out when we all started doing that business. Best part (that I somehow missed the first time around): the great Dr. Pepper scandal of 2001.

November 5, 2006

OK, go.

This show is about the creative process. It's not about getting shouts out.

November 3, 2006

And then we both look sad.

The Internet?

Can you believe it's been ten years since Kid Koala's Scratchscratchscratch? He's got a new mixtape out now. Much easier to find this time around. It's got a few old-school-Z-Trip-like rock deals. Like this one:

Kid Koala - "Slew Test 2"

( You can even get this Your Mom's Favorite DJ mixtape on compact disc this time around! )

November 2, 2006

Amazing adventures in absolute humiliation.

Lunk alarm.

"I let out a grunt, squatted down, back up, grunt again. That's it," explained Argibay. "Basically, grunt, grunt, basic breathing in heavy, and breathing out."

Souvenirs.

Novelties. Party tricks.

October 27, 2006

Ugly.

October 26, 2006

Is nice.

Done.

October 23, 2006

TTN.

Who is this?

October 19, 2006

I've made a huge bid.

Mistake.

October 18, 2006

Cup-full of tokens not required.

My next birthday party will be here. NERD IT UP.

A pickpocket squirts mustard on you unawares.

Keep paperwads in your neckpouch!

October 17, 2006

Black syrup in the ground.

Jesse's been hyping this troupe forever. The stuff he's played on the show has always been good. I suggest you subscribe to the new Kasper Hauser Comedy Podcast.

Subpoeeeeeeeeeeeeeena.

Hardened.

October 16, 2006

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #008:

Screw apples.

Don't feed me soup, just give me a funky loop.

Ex-Swollen Members member Moka Only swoles solo:

Moka Only - "More Soup [feat. MF Doom]"

( The Desired Effect would be to make it seem like this was something new. It's not. But it's got that Doom flavor and Spine made it new to me. )

October 15, 2006

Kill Yr Idols.

[via what todd knows.]

October 12, 2006

A moment like this.

Heavy metal.

Light reading.

Adobe.

basement.jpg

October 11, 2006

What ith your query? #009:

Not a ton of gold in the responses. But the question is fun. Dadgum sumbuck was tricked!

Three husbands on a camping trip.

Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter are on COMEDY TOUR right now. You should follow along.

p.s. They're already up to day four, so don't just think you can get away with skimming that first link. Every day is a fun adventure!

October 10, 2006

I'M POSSESSED!

Pretty sure the helmet wearer has an itty-bitty Dennis Quaid floating around inside him.

October 7, 2006

Sir, do we get to win this time?

Any hesitation I might have had about lining up for Rambo IV has been destroyed by this:

The next chapter finds Rambo recruited by a group of Christian human rights missionaries to protect them against pirates...

[via moviefiddle.]

October 6, 2006

Whatchoo got against Shaun Cassidy?

Whatchoo got against this?

[via todd.]

October 4, 2006

Tigra and Bunny-approved.

The Mac nerd world jumped on this video days ago, but they didn't have such snappy supplementals. See the SL above and the fantastic smash-em-up below:

Jay-R - "My Other Car is a Beatle"

October 2, 2006

Order up some more spark plugs.

[via our gf.]

September 28, 2006

The little carpenter.

September 27, 2006

Marmaduke is dying.

September 26, 2006

Kaufman: a Seduction.

kaufman HAIR

When there's a gap in the prime time schedule, the local ABC affiliate trots out Atlanta's own Monica Kaufman and her Barbara Walters-esque profiler Monica Kaufman Closeups. It usually features local-ish celebs: Braves and Falcons and Hawks and Foxworthys. But here's what will suck you in to the first couple of minutes of the show: she uses the Streethawk theme as her theme music. A Streethawk refresher:

Turns out that theme song wasn't just some random deal. It was by those Krautrock wizards of the 70s and 80s, Tangerine Dream.

Tangerine Dream - "Le Parc" (Please observe 15 seconds of silence before the synthsplosion.)

( Pure coincidence that this came out today? YES. )

I've had this stupid Kaufman theme nugget in my head since the old blog days, but it wasn't until I finally bit the bullet and dove into Destroyer's excellent 2001 record Streethawk: a Seduction that I decided to post it up.

Destroyer - "Virgin With a Memory"

( Beggars might be advised to ride their motorbike over to the store and get the rest of the record. )

September 22, 2006

Juan Cocktus.

Nobody is working, nobody has a happy relationship, everyone looks terrible, and everybody is depressed.

Retreat from the sun.

Married to the sea offers up a funny comic every day. Here are all the August ones. And here's one from February to get you started:

bike.gif

September 20, 2006

He described the atmosphere in the room as "difficult."

Both sides were forced to "make small talk."

September 19, 2006

[Ad]R.O.C.K [back] in the U.S.A!

Well, not really. Apparently this Bashton (who? ah, the LITESkiNNEd NEgro) track was produced back in 2003 right as Grand Royal was folding. Proper limited EP release on Mischief Records this fall:

Bashton - "Can I Eat? [produced by Adrock]"

Previously in the Adrock production series:

Adrock hates US&A!

Sorry.

September 15, 2006

Fort[e]night.

Spike's stories are starting to make him squirm.

Not many care about Mike Patton anymore. All My Children does:

September 14, 2006

Leonardo Goes to the Mayor.

Not close enough to the film's release date.

President Nazarbayev will visit the White House and the Bush family compound in Maine when he flies in for talks that will include the fictional character Borat.

Sin-neck-duh-key.

Emphasis on the neck.

September 13, 2006

Anyone for some delicious Ham?

I love this so much. And don't neglect his incredibly solid podcast either.

Still not sure? Maybe it's because you missed his amazing Palm Pilot joke.

FACE, Canada.

Nice timing, THREADLESS.

September 11, 2006

Dharma is a scrub.

Don't miss the Ricky Powell cameo.

[previously on...]

September 8, 2006

Sturdy.

September 3, 2006

Cars.

September 2, 2006

Oh no.

Can you feel it? Can you feel it coming on?

Silver Juice.

This is one fantastic beverage review.

September 1, 2006

Game, image, pictures, small.

Stupidly, addictive.

You're not just telling us what we wanna hear?

Cause we just wanna hear the truth:

Hello Recidivists-
I like the mp3s you put on your blog. I am with the San Francisco experimental pop band the Ebb and Flow.
...
In fact we are considering naming our new record "Recidivist's Recital"!

Could a solicitation be any more perfect? While the parallel naming thing would be enough to garner them a listen, the idea that they have this modifiable line as a part of their form letter is enough to garner them a post. Think of the carefully crafted others:

In fact we are considering naming our new record "Fluxblog's Follies"!
..."Stereogum's Spectacular"!
..."Gorilla vs. Bear vs. The Volcano"!
..."You Ain't No Picasso's Pool Boy"!
..."Moistworks's Moist Works"!
..."Largehearted Boy's Heart Born on the Outside"!

But guess what? They've got a fun website and good music. Here's a taste of the pop:

The Ebb and Flow - "Alaska: Lost and Found"
The Ebb and Flow - "Country Verses"

( They could, however, use some ampersand consistency in iTunes: and / & )

Take a penny, leave a penny. #002:

Beck - "Naseau"

Madvillain - "Monkey Suite"

Nothing out of the ordinary for either artist, but both worth some cents for your HEAVY ROTATION mixes.

August 31, 2006

"She scared."

forrest 'species' whitaker

August 30, 2006

Resident young guy.

I jump in my car on Friday in my casual office gear heading to NY or wherever to do a show that night. I've even flown out to Brussels and they didn't know the difference. It's really bizarre, but it's the way I roll now. If this breaks and someone finds out about it at work all of sudden they would find out that I'm going all over the country every weekend.
-- Greg Gillis on his double life.

Biomedical engineer by day, Girl Talk by night.

Through The Wire. Again.

A couple of years ago, I did up a post about failed attempts to integrate hip-hop into the natural soundtrack of a TV show. The crux of the thing revolved around one song that stuck out on The Wire. Here's that track:

Akrobatik - "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle [produced by Edan]"

Turns out Breihan just did up a nice The Wire piece about how the show itself has influenced hip-hop.

Finally, here's a bonus Akro track from his upcoming album:

Akrobatik - "Beast Mode [featuring Mr. Lif]"

( Surely the Canadian can tell you where to buy his music )

Please to be letting me finish, sir.

August 29, 2006

Denton, TX.

FAKE.

But the CGI'd hair does look pretty real.

August 28, 2006

Replaced by fire.

Nobody commits like Ferrell.

(Too bad the record sounds like the kind of thing that's been on the shelf since 1999. Why couldn't it have been a full stand-up album?)

What is it this time, Tyler?

Two Samoans and some rope

August 25, 2006

Confessions. #004:

IF YOU CAN’T SEE MY MIRRORS, I CAN’T SEE YOU.

(I’m not trying to be petty. It’s just that my small collection of delicate, handcrafted mirrors means a lot to me, you uncaring jerk.)

August 24, 2006

Internet appreciation.

SHAC's got a splendid new site. Bring on the wallpapers please.

AliSmithSHAC24.jpg

August 22, 2006

Quick! Go underground!

Blah blah blah, regular old news article with an old dude going on about how there's gonna be a huge hurricane someday, but then! This!:

"The subways are going to flood. Some people might think 'Hey, I'll go into the subways and I'll be safe.' No, they are going to flood."

Confessions. #003:

I BUY UGLY HOUSES!

(Like tons of them. I can't help myself. Everybody's bought at least one ugly house in the past.)

B = perceived size of pimple.

Owes a bit to Demetri Martin, but an A from Moe Dee for sticking to themes.

August 21, 2006

Mr. Milkman.

The original script reminds me of Steve Martin's great response to being addressed as "Mr. Martin:"

"No, no. Please. It's Mr. Steve Martin."

August 20, 2006

How I see the world.

Great new PES up. And if you never saw Dogs of War, watch it while you're there. It's still my favorite.

August 17, 2006

2.0 Coming.

command-s

This Jay-Z thing.

Bill Murray on retirement and police chases.

Note: The AP reporter must have somehow distracted Murray (in the name of journalism? at the cost of celebrity vigilantism?). While the video below doesn't show the whole chase, earlier in the ordeal the driver absolutely tore a golf course UP.

[late edit: not via the gf, but my bad for not checking in until today.]

Do not come on down yet.

Stand up!

August 16, 2006

Doc the dancing pig.

Seems like the returns would be minimal for this kind of cross-movie, hand-drawn animation reuse.

August 9, 2006

Confessions. #002:

Dr. Kirby has made it easy to think of liposuction as a kind of casual thing you do when you get the hankerin'.

August 5, 2006

Romantic rights.

DFA1979 are done. That sucks. Perhaps you would like to perform some sort of tribute?

August 4, 2006

You put your weed in there.

And then you escape out the fake rock Dharma hatch.

Unusually shaped.

August 3, 2006

Satchel.

[via a man?]

Blocks with bumps. That's all I need.

As a kid, I remember getting more annoyed each Christmas as the super space LEGO sets added more and more prefab pieces. Don't give me a fully formed cockpit, you jerks. Back off. Let me build it and suffer the abstraction. Like this.

[via td.]

July 31, 2006

Jerk.

July 28, 2006

The Greatest Generation.

statler_and_waldorf.jpg

A special programming note:

Recidivism -- your favorite online web portal -- will continue to publish for years!

MOTHER OF MERCY, I DON'T SPEAK JAPANESE!

Chris Farley's influence is still felt across the world.

July 27, 2006

Enchantment Under the CGI Wish!

Doesn't play out exactly like you think it will, but it's still pretty fascinating:

The new Public Enemy! Not really!

Back when The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy (most fun if pronounced "hiffo-prissy") loped onto the scene, Dr. Red Duke and I were initially hyped that we'd found us another Public Enemy. Stentorian baritone! Politically charged lyrics! Here we go!

After a few weeks of trying real hard to make it our new favorite thing we both came to the same conclusion: classic PE works best with the comic foil that Flavor Flav provides. DHoH just had that one big Michael Franti voice. No Ernie-laughing high-pitched clown to help break up the HEAVY.

Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - "Language of Violence"

( available on iTunes, Ian Rogers's purported drug of a nation )

From that, I learned not to make the same mistake and to just relax: there can't be another PE. Still, there's this one Mr. Lif track on the new record that actually manages to come wonderfully close. "The Fries."

Fast Food Nation-esque big business dissatisfaction? It's got that going on. But it's also got funny punchlines in the mix. And if you were to mathematically average Chuck D and Flavor Flav's voices? You'd absolutely get Mr. Lif. Otherwise, I have a pretty difficult time trying to describe his distinctive voice at all.

Even El-P's production is a suitable facsimile of the best early Bomb Squad work: he's finally integrated enough funk with the noise to help things bounce. Check that glorious "Holy Ghost" breakdown. Mucked up just enough but still wholly danceable.

Mr. Lif - "The Fries"

( Mo' Try Before You Buy. Mo' Album )

Bonus track! Wadud Ahmad gets all "Pollywannacracka" Chuck D in the chorus of this new Roots cut:

The Roots - "False Media"

( We don't need it, do we? No, we do. Just not yet. )

July 26, 2006

The Internet vs. Superman Returns.

Ian breaks it down for the kids.

This is a little bit salty?

I was in the 7th grade and my sister was in the 3rd. You know how sometimes the skin on the bottom of your foot will start to peel off? And it's pretty addictive to go for the biggest one-piece peels you can get? So I peeled off a bunch of my foot skin, got it wet, and balled it up. When it dried, I gave it to my sister and told her that it was delicious rock candy (a treat we'd heard about but never acquired). She ate it and tried to act like she liked it.

[more like this.]

July 24, 2006

A: Forte is hilarious.

Jesse does the SNL cast update news and upcoming season-prep post that I was too lazy [sunday! ha ha! have you SEEN this viral video?] to put together.

July 21, 2006

Killer street team.

July 20, 2006

Flow 101.

Doesn't get much better than Method Man detailing the mechanics of writing rhymes:

I be in that studio racking my brains to make two words rhyme together as well as say some shit in between those two words that make sense. And then, on top of that, transition between those two words to forming words into a sentence that has something to do with what I just fucking said. You know how much work go into that shit? And then to be understood over all that? You know how much work it take to do all that shit?

Also: his comics pull list is out of control and unchecked in years, Cheese is out of jail in S4 of The Wire, and the new hair bands make him work. Fantastic interview.

July 19, 2006

Private area.

Positively Saundersian.

Melt.

Coupla on fire posts out of Peretti today. I love that my first impression of this latest one was that everyone was jammed onto one long Pippi Longstocking horse. I didn't even really process the fact that it wasn't the longest horse in the world until I committed to linking it up.

Too late.

July 17, 2006

Ditto.

I know that Dr. Red Duke normally handles the CNN links, but I wanted to stand behind him on this one. Now excuse me while I go call him again (3 of 4).

July 14, 2006

Good effort.

[via bearded cartoon unicorn rider.]

Over and over.

My favorite part of this article is the editorializing going on in the fourth paragraph. The only thing missing is a closing "Seriously, you guys. Knock it off."

On notice.

OnNotice.jpg

Confessions, first in a series. #001:

I am dumb because I never dove into the very good band that is called: Yo La Tengo.

Get that rag off the meat. Let’s go, man!

Public Enemy. You thought they didn't release anything post-Bomb Squad that was worth much, right? WRONG. They only released one of the most amazing tracks of all time. Sure it was recorded during the Fear of a Black Planet sessions, but still.

First, the history:

Public Enemy - "Burn Hollywood Burn"

Now, the gem. Buried on 2002's Revolverlution (hooboy with the titles anymore, guys) was this complete and utter classic. I've listened to it a million times and it still cracks me up.

Public Enemy - "The Making Of Burn Hollywood Burn"

Flavor Flav Friday Follies! Gotta love that he's riffing it up with Kane over the phone at his mom's house. Also gotta love all that fantastic 1990 Flavor Slang. If you grew up on that good PE ish, this is late-in-life perfection.

July 13, 2006

It's time.

The uncomfortable world of Paugh carries on. If you're not familiar with the concept, start in the beginning and take it all in.

Whenever I see an old Profile jacket, I feel right at home.

Must be exhausting when your collector-based hobby intersects with your desire for sample-fodder.

July 12, 2006

"Monster."

SHAC DVD on the way. Special thanks to Pete Miser? He's a robot!

July 11, 2006

Now that would be the best NeXTSTEP for you, Steve.

Jews for both Jesus and Steve Jobs.

The soundtrack of my [new] life.

It's no Discount Meats.

But it's impossible to look at it and not read it out loud and in character.

July 8, 2006

Like my 3 year old says:

"I want to live there."

July 6, 2006

Scrub.

July 5, 2006

Sampling the samply samplin' McSamplers.

Guess this get-up would have been a bit too meta for the duo?

kill_barkley.jpg

June 30, 2006

Look! Up on the wall! It's an E!

A number of years ago I picked my eye doctor on the basis of his name: Dr. Wener. Pronounced exactly like you want it to be. Older dude. Maybe late 50s? Nice herb-y white guy. Or so I thought.

Went to see him for the first time in six months yesterday and found him sporting a new look: shiny, reflective bald. Dude became a dead ringer for Lex Luthor. With my head in the eye-examination vise, I complimented him on his new look. He explained (without prodding!) that he'd worn a toupee for years, but that the office got up a vote for this new thing. Nice. Omar can fill you in on the rest of the office (apparently I'm not the only one picking opthamalagists based on last name affinity with Oscar Mayer), but you should know that Wener was probably the only one who could actually count the follicular fashion votes with any degree of accuracy.

Anyway, my cell phone starts ringing in the middle of the exam. I hate my cell phone, usually have it on vibrate, and still haven't figured out how shut it up when it goes off audibly. I fumble around, turn it off, and Wener goes (in complete, but exclamation-point-free, sincerity): "Wow. That's your phone? That ringtone is great. Sounds like TV in the '70s."

TV in the '70s! Herb-y, bald, Spacey-as-Luthor Dr. We[i]ner was digging on my Kill Bill heisted sound effects ring tone. Dude got 100x cooler in one visit.

The Rza - "Flip Sting"

( My soundtrack has a first disc: it's Kill Bill: Volume 1 )

June 28, 2006

Why y'all dissin' it, man? I kinda liked it.

On the new The Impossible: Mission, Pt. 1 odds and sods mixtape, Posdnous seems to forget that it was "that early '90s flow" that helped make De La Soul is Dead the best sophomore effort to come out of the Native Tongues posse (Disagree? You pick LET? Go vote!).

De La Soul - "What the F**k #1 / De La Soul's Poster"

( Fat Beats in my head; mixtape moves my feet. )

June 27, 2006

Eye of the Tiger.

Inspired by Bill Simmons's superfun take on YouTube (what a copycat), I went and plugged in my own favorite wrestling clan: the Von Erichs.

Prepare yourself, Dr. Red Duke. TREASURE TROVE. Not the least of which is theodore's fantastically trippy seven-part documentary The Von Erichs: Of Birth and Blood. Go ahead and spoil yourself by diving into part five (featuring Herve Villechaize's slightly premature ruminations on suicide):

June 24, 2006

Mount St. Helens.

David Thompson has just replaced Darrell Bluet as my new favorite guy ever.

June 23, 2006

What about a store credit?

Project Greenlight: Season 3 Update: Gulager finally gets a release date.
Project Greenlight: Season 4 Update: Heidecker and Wareheim run into funding problems:



Deal sealer.

Victorioso!

[I know I'm late on this virus, but it's a bit more relevant now.]

June 22, 2006

I'm with Evangeline Lilly on this one.

But her bathroom mirror sounds HOTT.

Bold.

Or just smart?

Half.

I kinda wanted to join the deafening chorus at the end of 2005 and offer up my own top ten music list thingy. But then Dr. Red Duke went and skewered the entire notion. Fine. I'll just do a mid-year thing. If you release music after this post and before 2007 kicks off, you're screwed.

5. Ghostface Killa - Fishscale
Here's the sell: I only took like 3 or 4 tracks out of rotation. The rest got 3 or more stars. For a 20+ track rap record, that's pretty amazing.

4. Juiceboxxx - R U There God?? Itz Me Juiceboxxx
Did this come out in '06? I don't know. It did for me, at least.

That "Do You Want 2 Hear It?" track is still such a MONSTER JAM. Attempt to play it in a sealed-up car and you will look like a bouncing idiot.

3. Half-Handed Cloud - Halos & Lassos
As excited as I was when it came out, I didn't really talk this one up. It kinda seemed a bit too me-only. Last year's release had enough sonic variety to trick people into thinking it was more than just a melodic blitz of catchiness. This one leans so heavily on the delightful (to me at least!) Omnichord that it ends up being a harder sell. Halos & Lassos is ultimately just as catchy and just as chock-full of insanely wonderful melodies as any previous Ringhofer release -- you just gotta either be in nostalgic love with the sound of the Omnichord, or be prepared to give the record the three listens required to allow the mental subtraction of the instrument.

Oh, and I totally dig the one-release-a-year thing that Half-Handed Cloud has going on. In fact, I'd be willing to effectively pay more per track for my favorite artists if they'd put out shorter albums every year instead of longer ones every two.

Half-Handed Cloud - "Rise to the Heavens on Evaporation"
Half-Handed Cloud - "Rainbow = Warbow"

2. T.I. - King
Ultimately, this record is main reason I'm doing this mid-year thing. When Breihan put it in his first quarter list, I noticed but didn't bother tracking it down for a month or so. Then I wanted to post about it, but was too busy listening and never got around to it. ERROR CORRECTION time.

"Get It" kicks off with some P.E.-grade siren action, a referee whistle, and a high-school band horn section. And that's all before the shuffle-y, bass-heavy track even starts. Come on. That's enough right?

T.I. - "Get It"

1. Regina Spektor - Begin to Hope
I love this record as much as Omar has commented in the very thread that introduced me to it. Get in there and get started if you haven't already.

( All of the above can be found in various online stores and whatnot. Click there. )

June 21, 2006

Lady Jaye holdin' hands with the Baroness. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes got nothin' on this.

You may have already snagged much of this Chocolate Swim EP from other sources already, but it pretty much blows away that disappointing Danger Doom freebie. Obviously you'll want to snag the Edan remix, but also grab that Lady SOV and "Wylin' Out" remix if you don't already have it. Also: skip the full album download thingy. It plops a single useless file into your downloads folder and causes you to have to go back and right clickety right click each track after all.

June 20, 2006

Okay. I remember you now.

It's a good thing they end up sticking him in the cloudy crystal cathedral -- cause even after all their painstaking attempts at escaping the uncanny valley, Bizarro Brando still comes across like a fake-y Jurassic Park monkey.

Bring that meat back.

Public Enemy has never been against animals.

Speak faster with laser surgery.

Warren Ellis (Nextwave, Desolation Jones, Planetary -- in order of my favorite ongoing stuff from him) on his first TV writing experience and the economy and precision of West Wing and Arrested Development scripts.

Boring.

Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese.

June 18, 2006

Touche.

I'm sure this lit up the political sites, but I kinda expected to see it all over the Non-Boring Internet as well. It's pretty much classic Bush funtimes -- but this time totally Zucker Abrahams Zuckered up.

Shortly after ribbing the blind man for wearing "shades," Bush unwittingly commandeered Helen Thomas's walker for use as an ersatz swimming trunks clothesline ("My bathin' suit's still wet!"), and then stumbled his way into officiating a Special Olympics qualification round ("You goofy kids gonna run in a straight line or what?").

June 16, 2006

Tell me that you're famous for me.

I normally avoid the annoying stream-y Myspace music craps, but this latest Pitchfork (anyone see their site go all weird and blogified yesterday?) report on The Go! Team sucked me right into their cover of Bull in the Heather. It's kinda too straight-ahead. But they did pump up that fun Steve Shelley drum shuffle right after the chorus. Now you can dance even more!

[Of course I won't leave you without the original video. How rude would that be? Dance along with Hanna. Dance along with Letterman.]

Recidivism. Now with MORE content.

It's over there in the right-side column on the home page. Down at the bottom of the individual post pages.

Bizarrely related ads make reading my Gmail serendipitous fun; let's see what they do to the site here. There's already an ad for a Dancin' James Brown Doll (immediate shipping; secure ordering!). So that's a start.

June 15, 2006

"Administered."

Wrong.

I like cake as my vegetable.

I'm pretty sure a visit to this Kroger/SunTrust/Carrabba's fakery in full swing would be like stepping into a Kaufman/Jonze film.

June 14, 2006

Merch.

I really want that new thing with the new Mario game. Buy this and FINANCE THE DREAM.

June 13, 2006

What ith your query? #008:

What is precious? The idea that this phenomenon might actually be established protocol.

As old as Brittany Spears.

Richard L. Spencer, lead singer for The Winstons, stumbles into a thread about one of the most sampled breaks in history and comments on the fact that neither he nor drummer Greg Coleman were even aware of the usage.

Folks have speculated for a while that they never saw royalties, but to not know that your work was practically the cornerstone for a large chunk of electronic music is just insane. At least James Brown and Clyde Stubblefield were aware that they'd been screwed. (Wonder if James Brown paid himself back when he enlisted Full Force to jack "Funky Drummer" on I'm Real?)

They don't want a record contract.

They want an all-expenses-paid trip to Asia, or maybe a banjo.

I'd add that sometimes they just want a 1978 AMC Concord and a fire-engine red wood-burning stove.

June 12, 2006

Banola bar.

I don't know how to put this, Kanye.

But you're kind of jacking like 3 million college kids' MySpace quote thingies with that line.

June 8, 2006

Milton Berle's Seed.

Brian Palmer's been setting loose a number of good, commute-ready stand-up sets. Galifianakis, Silverman, that Microsoft kid.

June 7, 2006

[This] ain't the worst that you've seen.

But. We're getting there.

Awesome, they effing shot that.

I hope somebody got Mike D dancing like that one girl.

Ordinary people.

And what’s wrong with Palatino, brother!?

Let's swing an episode.

June 6, 2006

He's here.

I thought about turning this into a Miami Vice soundtrack post. After all, the first tape I ever put down my own allowance for was the Miami Vice soundtrack. The first rap I ever memorized was "Vice" by Grandmaster Melle Mel.

But Jan won't let me. His unbridled keytarific enthusiasm (minute 1:35! yes!) means this post will ultimately be all about him.

June 5, 2006

Cheerleaders needed!

[via our gf.]

June 3, 2006

5000%.

[via the comment thread on my new favorite t-shirt.]

June 2, 2006

The making of De La Soul's "Eye Know."

Bonus downloadable content!:
De La Soul - "Eye Know (The Know It All Mix)"

June 1, 2006

Karl Robe.

This trailer for 30 Rock doesn't make it look as sitcom-y as I feared. The writer sessions with impression boy look to be especially fun.

Televised Programming Bulletin. #013:

Set your TiVos with an hour or so overage time to catch tonight's Scripps National Spelling Bee finals. Prediction: Samir Patel will finally take home the title by properly spelling "recidivism."

May 31, 2006

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #006:

True love.

Double duh.

Except for a few years after we moved from TX to GA and it wasn't available yet, I've been eating a bowl of Homemade Vanilla every night since I was a kid.

May 30, 2006

A mutant is very dangerous to you, because he flies at you and shOOts you.

So Kid Koala beat the Beastie Boys to this record? High score!

[via that site that sent all those commenters that one day.]

What ith your query? #007:

Perhaps they can check for (sexually) transmitted diseases at these labs?

[Looks like a no-go on an answer for this one. Sucks. Seems like the kind of thing that Hillary (BAIT!) would either be annoyed with or know the answer to.]

Excuse. Excuse.

The guest on this Belgian talk show was the victim of a botched surgery in which his testicles were removed:

[note: Even if this is some fake-o overseas Mentos dealy (someone please prove it real!), it's still good.]

May 26, 2006

All this watermelon and tomato and peanut butter.

Might as well make it a Hacky Comic AST Two-fer and link up this surprisingly entertaining two-page thread on Gallagher. It gets off to a rocky start, but stick with it for the depressing Paul Rust and Jesse tales.

Whoah, Mr. Happy.

[via this Robin Williams was an ASSSCAT thread that will surely be mentioned in the next recap.]

May 25, 2006

Recid-O-Cast. #009:

I got a mysterious email from Dr. Red Duke this evening. It's come to this.

[Think we'll get to 10? Should you subscribe?]

Porky's.

May 24, 2006

Televised Programming Bulletin. #012:

As promised, the American Lives Dog Bites Man update. The show begins airing June 7th, is now Season Pass-able, and has a few clips up on the Comedy Central website. One of the digi (everything's digi these days) clips features the glory of A.D. Miles as Marv. Germs!

May 23, 2006

Hollywood knows we're good if you know what I mean.

From IMDB's "Goofs for Tron (1982)" page:

Continuity: When Flynn is scanned into the computer he is wearing Adidas trainers. In all scenes prior to the he is wearing Nike trainers.

Goofs for You (2006): Adidas finally capitalizes.

Give the People What They Want.

A few years ago I had an Audible subscription just so I could circumvent my clumsy Audio Hijack solution. Now I can circumvent Audible's clumsy everything and get TAL dumped right into iTunes.

[THANK YOU, Jesse -- whose WBEZ-direct method of payment makes a million much more sense anyway.]

May 21, 2006

Might as well.

These guys didn't plagiarize. This guy should have.

May 19, 2006

Drastic.

All down there and yanking and yanking.

Patriotic tubes of meat.

Chestnut v. Kobayashi. 07.04.06.

May 18, 2006

BRIEFLY.

Shadow's finished his new record, and he wants us all to RELAX OUR BACK. I'm not complaining (my vertebrae are perfectly aligned), but I can see how experiment-averse folks might be worried following his recent limited output.

For me, nothing was funnier than David Banner yelling "DJ Shadow up in this mother..." on that last bit of guest production. But this new thing is funnier. I laugh every time the SL word up there is used to toast Shadow and some bonkers beat-work into what starts off sounding like a typical M. Ciccone-laced drum and bass track.

DJ Fresh vs. DJ Shadow - "Closer"

( Maybe you like the DJ Fresh bun as much as the DJ Shadow meat? )

You look like a POW of the Italian Tuna.

This new Chelsea Peretti short that she made with Adam Wade is fun in that you get a bit of the non-SHAC Peretti ("Boompies?") -- a more REAL LIFE take on our favorite comedienne. And I don't know much about the Adam Wade -- I still need to dive into his site proper -- but I get a fun Ronnie Simonsen vibe off the guy. Wonder what his Billy Graham impression is like.

May 17, 2006

The world saw evil that day. Two men saw something else.

Zoolander, starring Hunter Morrow

[Trailer via Hillary, who saw plenty of facial hair.]

May 16, 2006

(Almost).

[English translation in the comments below the yum, yum, yummy video.]

May 15, 2006

A nerd with insight.

That Danger Doom/Adult Swim slow release EP thingy begins today with "Korndogs."

May 14, 2006

Happy Mothers day.

May 12, 2006

Graffiti! Graffiti!

Fiber optics expert Bobby "Bob Frapples" Tisdale talks to Gothamist about growing out of NC and into NYC with A.D. Miles, Zach Galifianakis, and others.

May 11, 2006

Like landing in a water bed.

Look out tall-bike nerds. Here come the longboarders.

I'm a Pepper.

Thanks to jerks like "Beau" blabbing to the papers, gems and rarities like the original 13 minute Bottle Rocket short will be gone before you know it:

May 10, 2006

Snootchie bootchies.

Speaking of the tooting and the rocking, Kevin Smith recently wrapped up his nine part epic "Me and My Shadow" post series following Jason Mewes's drug addiction. Start with that first part there and then figure out how to work your way forward. It's a big, long read, but if you like the drug tales with the lapsing and the relapsing, it's worth it.

May 9, 2006

Destroy the mechanics. Run off like Mannix.

shakeitshshshakeit.jpgUltramag is long gone (Or are they?). And that Dr. Octagon record sure came out a long time ago, huh? Well, Dr. Octagon is dead too (Or is he? Umm, yeah.). And it's been spotty mcgee for that Kool Keith rascal ever since.

Which is where the selection afforded by a track-by-track digital world comes in handy. There's this new Kool Keith project called Project Polaroid. The beats are actually pretty consistently decent and end up sounding about how that album cover looks. The problem is that they're all so very boringly mid-tempo. Save one delicious, cherry-picked one:

Project Polaroid - "Digital Engineering"

( Shake a few more at the iTMS )

Toot up before you shoot up.

threaded.jpg

May 8, 2006

Me just enthusiast.

They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood.

May 4, 2006

DSC_2039.jpg, DSC_2040.jpg, DSC_2041.jpg.

I don't care how gracefully goofy she is -- if Karen O was standing over my shoulder while I was importing pictures into iPhoto, I bet you a million bucks she'd be all, "Ugh. Can you please delete that one?"

Hey I was just told to do press today, man.

Jay Babcock (ex-Grand Royal, Mean) bumrushes Godsmack.

Somewhere between October and next February, it will hit all parts of the country.

Oh no. Please.

Even if they offer a Mahky.

May 3, 2006

What if he had a twin? AND they rode motorcycles?

I'm not entirely sure I understand what I'm looking at in this picture. I guess this artfully composed image allows for a slight bit of clarification, but still.

May 2, 2006

Hale's Handy Hook.

Not sure why it took his arrest to trigger the thought, but how much cooler would it have been if Artie's boiled hand resulted not in bandages, but a more Arrested Development-y replacement appendage?

Little help.

April 28, 2006

Agnes Shillue Born to PERSON.

babytiger.png

[Note: Tom linked this up in his latest fanclub email as the reason his podcasting has fallen behind. I wasn't stalking.]

Wickedly rotting.

April 27, 2006

SIMULATED INSTRUMENT.

OTHER ACTIVITIES NOT RELATED TO THE CONDUCT OF THE FLIGHT.

April 26, 2006

A show that happens every day.

And the guy bringing it has a surprisingly strong delivery. I don't even know if this is PODCAST or not, but I don't care this time. I'll just leave the tab open and watch it IN BROWSER every day. Until I get sick of it. Then I won't have to worry about subscribing, unsubscribing, deleting, or WRECKING my car.

Mr. Magic Pants.

If you are able to be described as "very urban-like," I suggest you pick a cooler nickname than "The Kentukian."

Also, Copperfield sucks at naming tricks on the fly.

April 25, 2006

274 / 500.

http://www.recidivism.org/images/2006/04/274-thumb.jpgAmerican Treasure George Saunders returns this month with a new collection of short stories: In Persuasion Nation. You'll want to digest no more than one story a day -- of course, doing so will cause you to long for a 365 day supply. Or maybe they could shorten the year by 353 days. Either way: 12 stories, many of which you've already read scattered about. (Note: one previously published story, The Barber's Unhappiness, not collected in IPN, can instead be listened to. Also note that it is not George Saunders doing the reading. It is someone else.)

So last week, a few of us who previously provided mailing addresses in exchange for commemorative t-shirts were treated to a surprise postal package containing all manner of promotional IPN treats. Not the least of which is the signed and numbered chapbook you see embedded in this post. The rest of the loot (temporary tattoos, iron-ons, a double-sided poster, etc.) is pictorially depicted after the jump, but you might still be able to get in on the fun yourself by filling out a simple web form!

Continue reading "274 / 500." »

April 24, 2006

It sounds fake.

I'm pretty impressed with Anderson's vocal delivery ("Making movies. How do youdoit? What'sitlike? Lemme just tell these guys one thing."). Apparently, the guy can bring it in front of the camera as well.

April 21, 2006

I love the word explode.

Are you intimidated?

This is a great find.

No it is not it is a fantastic piece of documentation.

This one time? In traffic?

Sorry to bust out the hoary, hacky American Pie reference as my way in, but John Simpson's "personal favorite" distracted commuter example is pretty fun.

I have had to cut down on the video iPod business recently -- unless I'm just sitting there in complete stop-and-go grossness, it's just too hard. Or maybe I'm in a GOOD MUSIC cycle right now?

April 20, 2006

Butt shot incites hat trick.

Ultimately though, it's the mental excursions allowed by the UK's "bathing costume" terminology that make this article really work. Detachable wings, glitter, a tail, feathers, googly eyes, etc.

April 19, 2006

Do bears bare? Do bees be?

This article about product placement says nothing you didn't already know, but it omits the following key point: one way I received validation as a youth was seeing Agnes DiPesto and the rest of the Blue Moon Detective Agency equipped with glorious beige 128k Macs.

April 18, 2006

You mean you wouldn't have a problem with that?

Here is George Michael's band, The Long Goodbye. It also makes me very happy to see that Cera and Shawkat are all friended up with relatively unblemished-by-us-outsiders MySpace pages. You know, like real kids!

cera.jpg

April 17, 2006

Alot.

Tony Brummel congratulates Steve Jobs on beating cancer. Victory!

Shake it, baby!

April 14, 2006

What you give is what you get.

I certainly can’t get behind Dan LeRoy's Thunder Lightning Strike = Paul's Boutique comparison in terms of the music -- even sociologically, I'm not sure the argument stands up. 1994-5 is so very much not 1989, and I had to double up and check to make sure that the virgin-eared largehearted boy wasn't ghost-authoring these book notes. But I'll cut him some slack since he so completely nails the brilliance of "Shake Your Rump."

On the Car Wash soundtrack, [Rose Royce's "6 O’Clock DJ (Let’s Rock)"]'s just an instrumental throwaway, a little over a minute long and notable only for the fatness of its Moog bassline. What Matt Dike and the Dust Brothers did with that sound on "Shake Your Rump," however, is remarkable; they chopped it up, turned it inside out and made it groove in a completely new way. If you had to pick the most memorable audio component from Paul’s Boutique, this sample would probably be the winner – and it wasn’t just some great hook ripe for the plucking, either.

-- Dan LeRoy, from his book notes submission for The Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique (33 1/3).

Rose Royce"6 O’Clock DJ (Let’s Rock)"

( Put your money where your mouth is. )

I remember trying to mine the samples on PB (pre-Internet!), and stumbling across the Car Wash OST. I was so excited -- I'd heard tales of how the Dust Bros. had completely plundered the record. This was it! I would now have two albums worth of perfection! But no. Hearing Car Wash well after memorizing PB reduced the soundtrack to a big mess of quiet, powerless music with stray bits of sample fodder strewn across it. Talk about disappointment.

April 6, 2006

Delicious.

Gruber always fires me up. This is the write-up I've been waiting for since Apple dropped the Boot Camp [Clik!] news yesterday.

I make music and I make rhymes. What do you do with your free time?

When I first met DOP, I'd already been playing his self-produced demo tape on the show for a few weeks. LL from Criminal gave me the tape, said that a little white kid was behind it, and that it was really good hip-hoppy stuff. She was right. Anyway, I started into my show and in rolled this weirdo-looking dude who was the antithesis of the standard white-kids-trying-to-look-black that typically showed up to pimp their stuff. He had horrible long hair and big sunglasses and some sort of trucker hat-like thing. This was 1996, I think? Anyway, he kept coming back to the show, week after week. I eventually learned that the hair was a wig.

So Juiceboxxx is the new DOP, updated for the '06. He's also a little white kid, likes to wear the funny get-ups, and makes devastating hip-hop. I mean really, really great stuff. Where DOP's early business was more Shadow and Dust Bros-inspired, Juiceboxxx dabbles more in the 82-87 timeframe, both beats-wise and simplistic rhymes-wise.

This Juiceboxxx track I'm posting will crush you. It is a bona-fide computer speaker rattler in the grand tradition of cheerleader routine dance music (a style that needs a blow-out post of its own).

Juiceboxxx - "Do You Want 2 Hear It?"

( Only 8 bucks for the full record. WORTH IT. )

Bonus "Thunder Jam #1" video for the full visual effect:

The TurboChef Tri-Vection.

I was really hoping Baldwin would be playing a cast member of the sketch show. Instead, he'll be playing the next best thing: Dr. Red Duke.

New job. Same ol' Crabman.

crabman

April 4, 2006

The imagination.

Scientific evidence suggests that even the fetuses inside of mothers watching that commercial are getting (1) dumber and (2)...

April 3, 2006

Respect the plateau.

How would you say that your material has changed with time?

I think it's become a little more of a meal rather than little snacks. You first get up there and you're like, "How can I take this idea that I have and make a little comedy snack out of it." I think, now, when I get on the stage I'm trying to, like a chef, a four-course dinner onstage. A couple of times a year, you come off stage and think, "I came pretty close there. That was a nice, well rounded meal I gave them." People react to that. They come up to you later and say, "Hey, that was great. You really brought it all together." I feel like they sense that. If you try to serve up something that's not just little jokes, if they get a sense of who you are or you give them a hint as to what's going on with you, I feel that that's what I'm striving for lately. If you ever get close, it's a real kick in the pants and I enjoy it.

-- Tom Shillue, in this big, long interview. And it sounds like the second CD he'll be working on is gonna be gold.

[via Laughmachine.]

March 30, 2006

Can't wear slacks.

Shadow's keeping his grimy Bay Area mix-tape production work going:

David Banner - "Seeing Thangs [ft. Nump & Gold]"

But I'm feeling E-40's (not produced by Shadow) new one more. Computer noises! Hawaii Five-0 drums! Beatbox! NBA video game soundtrack ready chorus!:

E-40 - "Go Hard or Go Home [ft. The Federation]"

[Banner/Shadow via shady forum dealings. E-40 via Razorblade Runner.]

I'm looking at the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to make a change.

Can we not talk about this please? It's just embarrassing. And also, can someone get Pollack up out of my business for ONE SECOND? Dude won't stop butting in on everything.

[note: the piece is way long and I hate clicking, so I read it all in one chunk here.]

March 29, 2006

Power song.

Spanish for "The Bamba."

Still waiting for Jesse's defense of Chevy Chase -- until he brings it, let's enjoy a clip from the debut of Chase's 1993 talk show, where he facilitated delightfully stilted conversation with a denim-clad Goldie Hawn, lamely dropped a cake near her son (the boy may have rocked the Brian Austin Green hair back then, but little Ollie all grows up!), and then had so very much fun dancing and dancing and dancing some more!

March 28, 2006

Turn a perm to a dreadlock.

Camp Lo - "Bed Rock"

Sounds like Ski might be back on the production? Not positive he did this new track, but it sure hews closer to the "pretty sounding music" they first made with him. Geechi Suede gotcha wiiiiiiiiide.

March 27, 2006

The other limb.

I'm pretty sure that this is the result of one of those Fresca trees growing to full size.

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #005:

Only not from heaven. From HEALTHY EARTH CLONE.

Dante is a white scrub.

But MC Serch is still blacker than Prince Paul.

March 23, 2006

Start this sentence.

Related, from last October: How Demetri Martin makes jokes.

March 21, 2006

Take a penny, leave a penny, first-ish in a series. #001:

Cut Chemist [feat. Edan and Mr. Lif] - "Storm"

Kinda dream-team-y, huh?

March 20, 2006

No blow.

Just sandwiches.

March 19, 2006

Strictly professional.

Guaranteed 100% approval rating from Dr. Red Duke on the video/track from The Pipettes over at YANP. Then again, he'd probably go 150-200% on Jacqueline Novak.

March 17, 2006

Nerd cage.

Yeah, so start looking down, cause I’m sitting at the base level now. I was going to just comment this sad tale into the PO post, but I figured I might as well official it up and get it on the record. I'm trapped and turning into a junkie.

While LL had me diving into the Eightball/Ghost World alterna-comics world during my summer stint at Criminal, I didn’t really pick up anything else until my Chris Ware completism explosion. But then last year alterna-rag Entertainment Weekly sucked me into Alan Moore’s Watchmen. Holy awesome. And the perfect bridge between the crazily layered and textured novel-like world of Ware and the pulpier world of superheroes and costumes. Watchmen is just as landmark-y as they say. I read it last fall and still can’t get it out of my head. It cracked open all kinds of Cold War Armageddon memories I didn’t even realize I had. Watchmen is simply one of the best pieces of fictional media going.

And it had me wanting more. So I started looking around for other bridge-like multimedia deals to soften this inevitable descent into non-alterna-cool comics. I landed on Damon Lindelof’s (that TV show called Lost) 6 issue Ultimate deal. I jumped into Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-men deal (first arc = great, second arc = not so great, latest issue = not really fixing much but we’ll see, I guess). And then Gardner Linn started trying to help out Hillary and co. and I got all up in Y the Last Man (Up to the 4th collection and extremely big on this. No superheroes! Just a fun sci-fi tale. It too would make a fantastic Lost-y television series) and Warren Ellis’s fun and funny Nextwave.

So yeah, there you go. On the record. Commence whatever it is that you need to do. But at least pick up a copy of Watchmen first.

March 16, 2006

Me too.

March 15, 2006

The sleeve of a wizard.

Scroll past Patton Oswalt's parent's vehement denials of 9/11 conspiracies and you can read some fun stuff about his involvement in the upcoming Borat movie.

March 14, 2006

Mellifluous even when he’s yelling, which he does an awful lot.

S/FJ likes the new Ghostface record.

March 13, 2006

Dennis Quaid is so effing TOUGH.

Dude isn't some girly girl with an eating disorder, I'll tell you that much.

March 10, 2006

Havin' fatal thoughts of suicide.

Really, really love the Bushwick Bill step-off and the gun trained on Too Much Trouble's white midget, Bar None.

March 9, 2006

I always leeched on with "a desk lamp on my inner thigh."

Back in high school, whenever the topic of tattoo choices came up, Dr. Red Duke had a pretty good stock joke. Most dorks talked about getting Asian symbols and flowers and smiley faces and whatnot. The Dr. always said that if he was to get a tattoo it would be on his ankle and it would be a lovely sofa. Who's laughing now, Dr.? WHO IS LAUGHING AT YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SOFA JOKE NOW?

All You Need to Know.

So far so good on this iTunes Multi-Pass The Colbert Report subscription. My first concern was whether or not the 16 episode pass included reruns (it doesn't). My second concern was whether they'd have the same ridiculous 24 hour hold time on posting episodes -- something that would render the Multi-Pass useless for folks who load up their iPods in the morning and want to have the previous night's ep available when they head out the door.

But the email notification arrived well before I awoke. 3:30 AM Eastern! Taste a spoiler alert full of truth, Hawaiians! Beautiful. Now if they'd just make it so I don't have to "Check for Purchases" or whatever to kick off the download, I'd be able to stumble out of bed, kick off the sync, and be loaded and ready to go.

warmregards.gif

March 8, 2006

I heard he humped a chair for 10 minutes.

Sudeikis paid attention during the right era ("the Dana Carvey/Phil Hartman/Jon Lovitz years") and then stopped watching from 92 until right before he made the show. No wonder he's good. Oh, and he had a shot at WU anchor. That would be a refreshing switch-em-up at this point. I nearly forgot adult dudes could fill that role.

March 6, 2006

I'll take the Rock of Ages.

Ugly Duckling's set to pop with their first full-length since that overly meatshakey Taste the Secret deal. This new album Bang for the Buck is wisely skit-free; all you’ve got on this one is a solid collection of UD doing what they do best: catchy, sample-based, uptempo hip-hop.

Ugly Duckling - "Lower the Boom"
Ugly Duckling - "The End of Time"

"Lower the Boom" is probably one of the hardest tracks Einstein’s produced – it’s definitely a head-nodder. "The End of Time" is anchored around a supremely sticky horn sample that’s cinematically spacey and as good as it gets.

The Physical Challenge.

Long live YouTube. I mean really. This TV Bloopers-esque Double Dare clip is delightful beyond just the Marc Summers crack-up. Watching The Obstacle Course walk-thru alone is enough to bring back memories of after-school plateful-of-Oreos homework-avoidance.

Timex Social Club.

The latest episode of AST Radio (the first half's group interview is largely unlistenable, levels-wise) contains a very minor, very just-dropped-in-at-the-end tease. Apparently, much like Dr. Red Duke, Dave Foley is so hyped up on the new Garageband that he and the rest of the Kids in the Hall might be starting up a video podcast. So. That would be good. Tune in next week for the full details, maybe?

March 3, 2006

Capital I, hyphen, capital P.

Investigators don’t believe Guzman actually took the pictures of the children on his I-Pod.

But this didn't stop said investigators from busting out the CSI microscope and combing the I-Pod [sic] for a retractable, unpublicized, hidden video camera lens -- you know, just to be sure.

March 2, 2006

For no Busta rhyme or reason.

Get it? Look Bruce, if you're gonna be the colloquialism-throwing FUN lawyer -- running around tossing "knuckle sandwich" into the mix -- you could at least have the common courtesy to play off of the "rhyme or reason" thing.

And everything.

[via the FOT boards.]

March 1, 2006

Unnecessary Censorship.

And of course your first love, children's theater.

YouTube's obviously blowing up. We're living in that Napster-like magic moment where you simply can't believe the kinds of historic stuff* available to you with just a simple search.

Which means of course that it's all gonna get shut down ANY MINUTE. With NBC yanking the Lazy Sunday, CBS ripping out your favorite autistic basketball phenom, and other things shadily coming and going, it looks like we might need to start saving this stuff offline. Now get busy. iSquint'll convert anything (including those weirdo .flv files) these days.

[* Note that this last thing is not THE "chink" appearance. Anyone able to figure out if this was just one that slipped through? Or was this a post-2001 reactionary thing?]

February 27, 2006

Daddy says she's now old enough, old enough for me.

Eagles of Death Metal - "I Gotta Feeling (Just Nineteen)"

So far this new Eagle of Death Metal album is working for me in a way that first one (and even that last QotSA record) didn't. Good stuff. Tom played this track in his opening set on last week's show (recap not yet available). Yet another reason to skip the podcast and hijack the full-on deal!

Still, the chronology seems a bit off. Way back in 1988, the girl was just seventeen.

I stay fly underwater.

Ghostface - "The Champ"

Mickey, Clubber Lang, and the "Synthetic Substitution" break oughtta make up for the janky audio quality of this leak.

February 24, 2006

(AND WRITINGS).

[via my increasingly neglected subscription and so therefore really Hillary.]

Unusual interests.

February 23, 2006

Well, I can't put up with this.

Old mother%#$@.

Do we even get Kimmel in Atlanta yet? Shut up. I don't care. But I must say that this recurring Unnecessary Censorship bit (Best of 05, the rest) is BRILLIANT.

February 22, 2006

Study: Oceans only 30 percent awesome.

OH THAT DRUDGE. #005:

If you were curious about the bodily location of Tom Brady's surgery, wonder no more! Matt has gone ahead and cleared things up FIRST THING:

where.png

Poignant slice-of-lifeness.

The David Cross entrant in the new Onion AV Club Random Rules feature is where I'm dumping you off. But page back through the others. They're good too.

Guided By Voices - "Buzzards and Dreadful Crows" (Live in Portland 11/16/2004)

[via TSOYA.]

February 21, 2006

Yellow costume jokes are PLAYED OUT.

Government holiday yesterday, so I took one of the boys to see that new Will Ferrell/David Cross vehicle. Neither one does a single funny thing, and Cross pretty much rehashes his hair-plug ponytail look from Arrested Development. YOU WASTED MY TIME ON THIS ONE, FELLAS.

UPDATE: I went rooting around on the Official Site (certain to stand the test of Internet time and be useful forever) for a pic of the Cross ponytail and stumbled onto this instead. Nothing says fun and learning (flearnin'!) like a reproducible:

reproducibles.png

February 20, 2006

That's what we do when we hang out. We list, you know, info.

Podfodder update. Get rid of all those other craps I told you about; I sure went to deletion town with them. Actually, save the Shillue. Hopefully he'll get back to telling us some stories soon. But I found a fantastic new podcast shortly after making that post a couple months ago and figured I'd do a post about it once I was ready to talk about all the fancy video podcasts I subscribed to. Only I subscribed to a bunch of fancy video podcasts and they've all pretty much been ignored after the novelty wore off. (I do love you, Amanda Congdon. Maybe I'm just in an audio-only cycle?)

Here's the new one you need. It'll show up right after the Recid-O-Cast in your iTunes list. It's called The Sound of Young America (iTunes link, newish companion blog). And the guest line-up over the last year seems fake it's so awesome.

Here are some of the featured guests that have already made my commute look-forward-to-able: Paul Feig (Freaks and Geeks creator), Prince Paul (he samples kiddie records), Matt Walsh (UCBer that I've seen perform IN PERSON and IN COLOR and didn't even PLAY UP), Chris Elliott (known for "Chris Elliotting around" and a book that I still haven't finished), Rodney Rothman (former head writer for Letterman and author of a fantastic book that I just finished), Sarah Silverman (she says jokes that have bad words), H. Jon Benjamin (surly son on Dr. Katz; Akiva Smirnoff and other fun characters on this other decent radio show), Devin the Dude (he really was MC Watchout? seriously? unfortunately, no confirmation on his TSOYA appearance), John Hodgman (McSwy's a-hole and The Daily Show correspondent-without-a-badge), Fred Armisen (heterosexual SNLer), Ricky Jay (ex-Bella Union cardsharp), Louis CK (subscribe to his stand-up-only video podcast while you're clicking around on things), Demetri Martin (adorable Myspace commentator), Tom Scharpling and Jon Wurster (creators of Conan O' Brien's favorite radio program), Blackalicious (solid EP, then lost Shadow's phone number), and a bunch of others that are kinda hard to dig out of this comprehensive page, so just subscribe in iTunes and start picking through the unbelievable line-up there.

p.s. AST people are trying to start up a podcast as well. A couple non-standard promising things available now, but I'll alert when they go more official [UPDATE: minutes after I posted, I went and checked the forum again. OFFICIAL].

February 19, 2006

Je voudrais aller a la salle de bain!

92mfrench.jpgIn light of Sorkin's [unfortunately Urbaniak-free] upcoming masterpiece, this news is the only thing that makes me even remotely interested in watching Fey's show.

Here is an extraneous paragraph to justify keeping that image over there. Without this text, the image would hang all down and the lone paragraph above would be all short and weird. So this should just about do it. Let me save and see. Yep, that worked. For your troubles, here's a link to the classic sketch referenced in the SL and image.

February 17, 2006

10 inches stage left of the offending jack.

Prince - "Black Sweat"

PRO: From the upcoming 3121 record, "Black Sweat" is a superfun [and increasingly rare] return to Prince's '80s LinnDrum-fueled minimalism.

CON: Once some jerk mentions "Hot Thing," you'll have a hard time not mentally overlaying the "chung-a-jung" sound over the empty spaces.

Unrelated to the song at hand, but totally related to the SL and song title is the image-based discussion in this ILM thread.

February 16, 2006

My [good friend and shoe designer,] Adi Da'ler.

run1.jpgRun-D.M.C. hates the letter S.

I don't think I ever paid much attention to this when listening to the original "My Adidas". The scratched-in horn stabbiness covers up the transgression on many of the non-chorused bits.

dj BC (Run-D.M.C. x Tom Petty) - "Free Adidas"

This dj BC smoosh-em-up highlights the vocals a bit more and makes it obvious that they're really bigging up their "Adida" throughout much of the song. I don't know what's going on here. I may stick it on axemefi next week and see if this is some slang/dialect thing that I just missed somewhere along the way.

Readability’s worst nightmare.

Can someone make this Hank Shocklee article like actual text please?

Special Courtesies Olympics.

The audience:
I enter the elevator, notice that L[obby] has already been selected, and go to the back middle, forming the furthest-from-the-door point of a three person isosceles triangle.

The contestants:
I am flanked on my left by an older man. He is humpled over with a very necessary cane.

On my right is a middle-aged woman. She appears to be hearing impaired and has Victrola-grade hearing equipment enveloping both ears.

The competition:
When we all get down to the lobby floor, the old man grunts and motions at the lady for her to exit first. She shakes her head and then nods to indicate that he should exit first. The old man gets agitated and grunts a little louder, gesturing at her and then the door with his cane. The lady takes a step backward and practically bellows “No-w, you go-w.”

The outcome:
The man relents and exits first. The victorious woman follows. The audience hangs back a bit so as not to miss any front door rematch action.

February 14, 2006

Recid-O-Cast. #007:

Short, sweet, red and pink: the very definition of Dr. Red Duke's favorite things. Including this Valentine's Day quickie Recid-O-Cast where I pay tribute to our 16 year (!) relationship.

Subscribe in iTunes if you haven't already. Red's still next up-to-bat, and you're gonna wanna get in before he steps up again.

The man is using guilt, and the woman is using avoidance.

Eppy's tossed off some crazy good analysis of a bit of pictorial Billy Joel detritus. Great because he nails everything fascinating about the picture and manages to anchor it with a completely back-of-your-brain-but-never-really-forefronted riff about Joel's permanent air of defeat.

February 13, 2006

The freezer.

Silly nerd. He thought his fiance loved him for his iPod.

Steppin' to the A.M.

February 12, 2006

On target.

February 11, 2006

So this is what this is all about, huh? Donuts.

Well, not anymore. I was putting together a J Dilla post with a haha funtimes write-up last night -- doing up the standard research for supplementary links and whatnot -- when, boom. He dies.

Anyway, the album he released a few days before he died is good instrumental hip-hop. Less bugged-out than Madlib's production work, but just as deliciously sample-based. Donuts is accurate: it's not an album for all-in-one-sitting digestion. Think of it as a bunch of Pollard-short blasts of TMBG "Fingertips"-like soul-drenched beats for you to shuffle in with the rest of your library.

J Dilla - "Light My Fire"
J Dilla - "Lightworks [not feat. Nellie McKay, though by the end of the track you might start pretending it's her]"

( apparently we're doing a red thing now; here's a place to buy Donuts )

And since it would be a filth move not to legacy up this post, here's my favorite track from the Madlib collabo:

Jaylib - "McNasty Filth [feat. Frank-N-Dank]"

( red = get at least a few donut holes from Champion Sound too )

February 10, 2006

Hole, bag, hat, etc.

i.e. your mom.

PIF enthusiasts.

The TV licence video is fun, but I too am anxious for the Molehusband to be unearthed.

I thought I was fancy with the bolding and the underlining.

But The Office Versus The Office goes to town. Detailed character analysis. Charts and graphs! Nice work.

February 9, 2006

As I peeked from beneath my arm.

February 8, 2006

Let's say you told me I had to write a song right this second.

I would write one with a really long, unwieldy title. It would be called "Sitting at a Stoplight, Suddenly Finding Myself On the Receiving End of Three Flirting Mexican Twenty-Somethings Jammed into the Backseat of the Buick in Front of Me."

And it would certainly include a verse about how the driver wouldn't allow me to pass and then another verse about how this gradually affected my comfort level.

Winner takes it all.

If I were a truck driver, I'd definitely haul a Millis rig. Every time one passes me, I marvel at the wonderful logo and color bands stretching out of the logo down the length of the trailer. Beautiful stuff. I can't find any hi-res pictures of their trucks or the truck version of the logo design (thank Hank for the pic below), but if someone were to x amount=========-up me a truck logo I wouldn't complain.

millisawesome.jpg

February 7, 2006

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #004:

Fewer foot burns this way too.

Quietly.

February 6, 2006

Silly Lee Westmoreland:

Wickes Is For Chicks!

February 5, 2006

Recid-O-Cast. #006:

The 6th installment of the Recid-O-Cast is upon you. Right up on you. I've failed to deliver anything as strong as Dr. Red Duke's devastatingly solid Ray Nagin exclusive -- so don't get your hopes up. Perhaps this should simply be considered the set to the Dr.'s inevitable spike.

I did accomplish something fun though: the Recid-O-Cast is now available in the iTunes Podcast section. All official-like for the least official thing we've ever done. Subscribe in iTunes, or cut and paste this dedicated new feed into your podcast receptacle.

Finally, we set up an email address just for the Recid-O-Cast. It, along with email addresses for each of the R's regulars, can also be found on our new contact page.

February 3, 2006

It should sound like they're gargling glass.

It's completely unnatural, an explosion of force that comes from the belly through the throat.

[Here's more analysis, with mp3s and a comparison with another Oz musical icon.]

Now is the time.

I dove into Ecclesiastes this last week and have been chewing on the following ever since:

Everything is so weary and tiresome! No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content.

And Solomon didn't even have an RSS reader! If the dude had been trying to navigate the world of mp3blogs, podcasts, TiVo, and video content for his iPod, he'd have had an even bleaker start to Ecclesiastes.

So I was trying to figure out a way into the above verse (new Recidivism subhead?), while simultaneously listening to this new Kelley Stoltz record. I realized that the next oft-heard bit is where the real juice is:

History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. What can you point to that is new? How do you know it didn't already exist long ago? We don't remember what happened in those former times. And in future generations, no one will remember what we are doing now.

Kelley Stoltz is covering familiar ground here: lo-fi-ing it up in his room, playing off of well-worn classic pop records, multi-tracking the crap out of his psych-folk experimentation work. But you know what, Solomon? I'm fine with all that. Bring it. Stoltz is delivering new good old stuff. Twist-free! I loved last year's Jamie Lidell record and the fact that he bleeped and blooped up his soul revisitation. That was a nice twist. But Stoltz proves you don't necessarily need to provide the clever update freshness. You can just bring it like we've heard it. Straight up. And if the songs are good, the songs are good.

Kelley Stoltz - "Ever Thought of Coming Back" [Previously under the sun as Beach Boys music. Available 2/7.]
Kelley Stoltz - "The Sun Comes Through" [Previously under the sun as Beatles music. Available now on the The Sun Comes Through EP.]

February 1, 2006

Hilarious.

[At this point. You know, now that the resignation has set in. A few months back, the one word SL would have been "infuriating."]

Efficient.

Kids.

January 31, 2006

No meat, no eggs, no friends.

If this scene had been around during my nytimes days, I would have stayed for sure.

January 30, 2006

Oh this got run over before. Stick this on your head.

karlpilkington.jpg

FAKE.

I'm totally obsessed with this photography, and I want posters of it plastering all my walls.

REAL.

January 27, 2006

Nobody told me I was taking on Bigfoot.

Legitimacy questions aside, Nikolay Valuev makes for awesomely imposing visuals.

beastfromtheeast.jpg

Arrrrrrgh.

Since I was in the city that starts with a C, ends in an o, and in the middle is hicag last weekend, I didn't get around to watching SNL until last night.

Can anyone recall an episode with as many technical gaffes as this one? Didn't help that Peter Sarsgaaaard decided not to memorize his lines or learn how to read off a cue card. But beyond that, the episode was chock full of the tops of production folks' heads and the bottoms of boom mics. In that late episode hotel room sketch, Sarsgaard was able to effectively cancel out the joke when a scripted set-top TV slap killed the supposedly unkillable Dratch loop. Funny-wise: the first reveal on the Peter Sarsgaard SARS Guard got a nice laugh out of me though, so I'll always have that.

And it looks like they're gonna go ahead and begin the march toward oversaturation with the Target Greatland Wiig thing. Oh well. Fun trick for you before it's totally beat into the ground: give the word "podcast" a whirl in the Wiig-voice. Emphasize the "pod" part and do that celebratory rockaway thing. It's fun. Almost as fun as knowing that the RSS feed for our own podcast is now free of cruft and disease. Recid-O-Casts ONLY in there now. Jam it up in your iTunes hole if you haven't already!

Someday we'll find it.

rainbow-connection.jpgThe folkpop connection:

Page France - "Air Pollution"

From The Muppet Movie to Emmet Otter, the recent Muppet DVD content explosion has got the music of Paul Williams all up in my brain. And "Air Pollution" has Paul Williams written all over it. Yeah sure, the multi-voiced chorus bits make for easy comparison, but it's more than that. The lyrical earthiness, the group huggery: it's all vintage Williams. And it is good.

[cred disclaimer: In terms of up-to-the-minute mp3 bloggery, this song (from early 2005's Come, I'm a Lion) is ancient. Two Page France albums ago old. I'm sure You Ain't No Picasso's already leaking demos from a limited edition 2007 EP release.]

January 26, 2006

I wasn't even sure if I was bold enough to post this.

My posting fears were easily managed. You know, penetration and that.

WinDOZE (ha ha, get it? you will if you are not Mixed Nutesque and you expect to care about these links).

Video/Audio running on the first IBM PC.
Running thread of Xbox 360 tips.

Who let those little mutts GOOOOO, yeaaaah?

dj BC - "Yoshimi Battles Snoop Dogg"

An otherwise amusing smashemup is greatly enhanced by Ferrell-as-Goulet and Wesley Willis-as-himself (at least that's who it sounds like) cameos.

In other Flaming Lips news, that new single on iTunes is easily worth your one dollar (TAKE A PENNY, LEAVE A PENNY).

January 25, 2006

Da Mystery of Sealbaiting.

Perhaps you would like to view pictures of Ghostface tapping that aquarium glass, posing with a seal, and pretenting to be Sherlock Holmes.

January 24, 2006

Recid-O-Cast. #004:

I don't care if it was 20 seconds long, that last one counts -- making this the fourth official installment in the series.

So smoke up all your weed and your licorice. Yo Red Duke, come here. Are you ticklish?

Would your child enjoy a toy truck?

MERCH available.

(Eat it, Flickerstick.)

January 19, 2006

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog.

January 18, 2006

I been hypmotized.

I'm completely addicted to all these image-stabilized conspiracy fix-em-ups of late.

This latest one has been loping around in a browser tab all day long. Is it a legit Bigfoot sighting? Or rare footage of Robin Williams en route to The Comedy Store circa '78?

January 17, 2006

What street are we on?

It's just been sitting in the /video directory unused and unlinked for a month, so I figure I oughtta hunker down and write it up: and now two A-Holes Buying a Christmas Tree. The sketch aired the same week as Lazy Sunday and got undeservedly lost in the Internet shuffle.

Aside from being a decently amusing character-driven sketch (a rarity in the last few years), it was also of note in that we finally get to see some younger-skewing Kristen Wiig action. Wiig's already staked out her place as the new player to watch on SNL (take that, Captain Jawbone Samberg!), but the characters she's played have largely skewed "mature:" Judy Garland, the Target Greatland cashier, Felicity Huffman, a wiigged out Megan Mullally. Even prior to SNL, her Joe Schmo Dr. Pat character was an ostensibly mature character.

So this a-hole character is a nice new (to those of us who missed her earlier Groundlings work) wrinkle. I'm sure it'll recur and drive us insane soon enough, so enjoy it now!

January 15, 2006

Recid-O-Cast, first in a series. #001:

Dr. Red Duke is all hyped about this new version of iLife and the fancy web fanciness that they've made all easy and simple. One of the first things he's talked about doing is a podcast. I can't imagine anyone that I'd rather hear a podcast from more than the good Dr. In an effort at spurring him on, I've created something completely horrible to test out the R's new podcasting publishing capabilities. It is an audio recording. It is enhanced with pictures and sounds (watch in iTunes or your iPod for full effect). It was all created in Garageband -- SOC-style, in one take. It is the worst thing (and consequently why I'm posting on a Sunday, desperately hoping to be buried beneath the crushing weight of a Best Show recap). But it'll give Dr. Red Duke something to come out and play off of. Something to one-up.

Side benefit to this mess: resubscribe to the RSS feed in iTunes and the first file in all of our music and video posts will dump right into your iTunes/iPod world. With no pesky downloading needed.

January 12, 2006

"Harrassing someone in Ohio."

CBS at 8:00.

This Lita/Amy Dumas-cum-Janet Jackson brouhaha [treat it as as NSFW if you work with folks who might be all up in your screen's grill with their grandpa reading glasses -- or if you plan on clicking into the fuzzy thumbnails] is of note for two reasons:

1. The main riff on unsatisfied "hippies" is pretty solid. It feels really familiar though, and I can't place the source. The donkeys copulating with midgets line might be recycled, but attempting to Google that will put you on the same government questionables list that Dr. Red Duke's occupied for years.

2. This exact same* scene played itself out around 15 years ago.

*minus the roving cameraman, stadium crowd, black-sheeted bed, play-by-play announcers, spandex, silicone, and nudity. and i'm pretty sure that i was the one with the protective black tape.

January 11, 2006

Jatla.

Me, Myself, and U.

A full-album Prince Paul/De La reunion would be fun (when they last met, it was one of the second (and final!) Handsome Boy Modeling School album's highlights: "If It Wasn't For You"), but a Prince collabo? Oh man.

[miniscule pause].

Let's just say that if I was a wacky morning radio DJ, I would have the last part of this clip assigned to the soundboard's biggest, reddest button. You'd hear me use it like five times a show. That and a boner boing sound, of course.

January 10, 2006

No wonder the sound has so much BODY.

Lefties Soul Connection - "Organ Donor"

Like the high school band DJ Shadow cover business, only deeper, dirtier, and completely different. But it's still honkies covering a honky doing funky.

OxyWash unclogs pores.

Like so very many of you, I've been wondering whether James Urbaniak stumbled in and commented on the Tom Shillue thing because he knows Shillue in real life, or because he just happened to catch Shillue straying even further from storytelling mode and into Carrot Top-like Etch-A-Sketch prop comedy.

Evidence for the former: they've both been killing time in a recording booth at the same voice talent agency (spelunk around for some other fun easter egg-like discoveries: Count the Sorkin connections! Why does a popular The Daily Show correspondent only have one commercial under his belt? Speaking of stunt-butts...)

Kinda fun to imagine Shillue and Urbaniak in-between sessions, out tooling around in a Ford, drinking POWERade, and generally FIGHTING THE POWER with Chuck D.

January 9, 2006

Gale, he smiled at me.

I was lying on the couch kinda sideways yesterday and noticed something on the empty, carcass-like Amazon.com boxes from Christmas: the boxes have the arrow-only thing, unlike the site's full-on logo that squishes the arrow up under the Amazon.com text. But so guess what I saw in that arrow? A SMILE. A HALF-GRINNY SMILE.

I kinda yelled at Mrs. Amount and asked her what she thought the Amazon.com logo was and she was all, "You mean the smile?" And I was all, "NO, WOMAN, the ARROW." She'd never seen that arrow and had always just seen the smile.

I tell you what: men are from this one male'd up planet and women are from the moon! Turns out the logo is both an A to Z arrow AND a smile! FEEL-GOODERY item of the week!

What do you people see? Or are you all "I remember when this latest logo was released back in the year two-thousand and I know everything and shut up, dork with your big, boring 'revelations.'"

One more link to him and his world.

I've tended to skip and/or be annoyed by the hexplosion of '05 listy-lists (I do love me that Medium Kanye Kombo at Arby's though). But this Gardner Linn fella has one excellent TV write-up in which he nails all kinds of things that we loved this year -- either individually (Pullo, Beauty and the Geek?) or collectively (Wolcott, AD, Dundies kiss, etc.).

January 6, 2006

The pipes are no longer broken.

They are fixed. 1982 Joust nostalgia gaming is crazy fun. But 1992-6? I'm as excited about this as I am Bungie's next project.

January 5, 2006

The quiet comedy.

Jack Handey's latest piece is kind of lovely in that you tire of it rather quickly but then find yourself both amazed and amused that he's able to keep it going and going with the freshness until the bitter end.

"Handbags & Gladrags" stomps instrumental nothingness.

Time to put your UK v US The Office dream team together. Blah blah blah about how they're two different shows, the US series length and open-endedness have potentially given it an unfair advantage, you saw the UK first and will always like it better, etc. Just pick characters and be done with it. The rules are such that you must go half UK and half US. No fair just picking mostly UK characters. Here are my picks:

David Brent | Michael Scott
Easy one. Scott's just an a-hole. Brent has A soul. Mrs. Amount goes Scott just because she'd rather just hate a straight-up jerk than get all squeamish when an unknowing jerk repeatedly fails.

Gareth Keenan | Dwight Schrute
Another easy one. Brent/Keenan is one of the all-time classic comedy duos. This is another case of no soul in the US. And Shrute's kinda scary creepy, where Keenan is harmlessly oddball.

Dawn Tinsley | Pam Beesly
Tricky, but Dawn wins on accent, [realistically extra] weight, and the fact that Pam plays to the camera a bit too much.

Tim Canterbury | Jim Halpert
Another tricky one, but the half and half rules are the rules, and since the Jim/Tim character is the one we're supposed to relate to, Jim is easier to match up with.

Keith Bishop | Kevin Malone
This one is straight up rules. Keith eating a scotch egg trumps Kevin's hilariously demented grin. But I couldn't sacrifice Dawn for Keith.

Chris "Finchy" Finch | Todd "Pac Man" Packer
No problem here really. Half the time I needed subtitles to understand a quarter of what Finchy was going on about, and I'd watch Koechner goofy it up ANY time. He's an effing comedy COWBOY.

Mom genes.

Go away for 4 months (and counting!) maternity leave and you're only able to muster this much comedy.

OH THAT DRUDGE. #004:

MKforBJ.gif

Try to work this one out in your head before you go where he's taking you. Seriously. See if you can figure out a way in which his link-based lede makes any sense whatsoever.

January 4, 2006

My getting on is anxious.

But it's nice to see that some people still care.

It's the new Shillue review, comin' right at you.

Finally caught that Comedy Central Presents Tom Shillue half-hour last night. He's got some fun traditional stand-up observational bits -- the never answer "I don't care" wedding plan set got some love from Mrs. Amount. And his slo-mo work is a physical comedy classic thanks to the mid-bit inclusion of the slow blink face distortion. That slow blink really kicks out the jams.

Ultimately though, I'm not convinced that a trad-stand-up half-hour format is where Tom Shillue belongs. He's a master slow-burn storyteller, and when he's able to drop brief observational nuggets into his long-players, everything works. I'm not sure where he goes with the storytelling angle; he's certainly too hip for the crustier Prarie Home Companions of the world. But maybe Apple's potential foray into fee-based podcasting will open something up. I'd certainly ante up to catch a weekly Shillue set. Who knows. Maybe he's only got enough material to go monthly; I'd take that too!

January 3, 2006

GIVE JAY D. WEXLER THE GRANT.

I mean really. There are so many pulls in this thing, it's not even funny. "[Mirth.]"

[The original Wexler piece is available in pdf form at The Green Bag.]

What ith your query? #006:

Do you get less wet if you run in the rain?
Are you most proud of the Chinese bicycle man who kept kept his umbrella vertically oriented?
Can you pay a rainbow to be less beautiful? NO LINK FOR THIS ONE.

A psychologist will confirm the player isn't clinically insane.

Mandel Watch. #005:

So Deal or No Deal's trial run was a success. Ratings-wise. In the interest of maintaining the Mandel Watch I gave it a one ep shot. Hoo-boy.

(23 December) Deal or No Deal (US), 1.5 ***1/2
[Saving graces: the riDICulously over-the-top and yet still twee phone call artifice employed to deliver instructions from the shadowy, Arvin Sloane-like "Bank," Mandel's facial hair, Mandel's memorization of the 26 interchangeable models' names, the repeated realization that my conservative nature would RUIN my chances at taking home any more than like 10k.]

Please note that if I were forced to watch additional episodes they would be graded accordingly:

(March) Deal or No Deal (US), 1.6-? *
[This show is meant to be viewed a single time. Repeated viewings insult the very core of your admittedly weak productive nature. By the end of even a single episode you will tangibly feel time being snatched from your Jewell-like clutches.]

January 1, 2006

Nonslave.

I know you missed it the first time, but I think they're rerunning it now, Red.

Sort of eat it, WORK.

Good for web design nerds without easy access to Macs.
+
Good for office workers on bizarro Websense-hates-Blogspot-hosted-blogs lock-down.
=
SafariTest.

Now you can read the dinky stuff that isn't worth emailing or del.icio.us-ing for later.

December 28, 2005

Two dream-related tidbits featuring Patrick Swayze.

Dream #1: I once had a nightmare in which I was at my grandparent's house being chased by Jurassic Park-like velociraptors. I was running as fast I could but making no real progress. Up over the hill comes a white horse ridden by a shirtless Patrick Swayze. Swayze reaches down mid-gallop and swings me onto the back of the horse. We rode away to safety.

Dream #2: It would be nice if Swayze made more of his decade-long hip-hop association. Oh, perfect.

Televised Programming Bulletin. #005:

A while back Tom Shillue (a good friend -- Merry Christmas to you, Tom, and thanks for the lovely scented candle(s)) gave us some good advice re: catching his Comedy Central special. And I followed that advice by dutifully plugging SHILLUE into the TiVo Wishlist. Lo and behold, TiVo's all set to grab the 7pm Tuesday, January 3rd rebroadcast. Don't listen to his FANCY WHITE BACKGROUNDED .com site for proper showdates, of course -- there's some confusion there as to the weekday associated with January 3rd, 2006.

December 27, 2005

I've got some Country Time ready to go. Does that count?

© McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, San Francisco, California. After a couple somewhat elaborate issues in a row, we were excited to settle down, get back to basics -- a paperback book, a bunch of good stories, maybe a Convergence. And for the most part this is what we did; the book is indeed paperback, the stories are certainly good, and we are excited to include the final (for now) of Weschler's giddy spin-outs, which will now be collected in a large, colorful book, due out in a couple months. But then somehow we ended up with a DVD in here as well. Which we're happy about, of course, but it leaves us still with our hunger for pure simplicity. Thus, the following vow: Issue 19 will be handwritten on a large sheet of butcher paper. There will be only one copy. We will pack up a 1991 Volvo 240, black, with tinted windows and a broken sunroof, and drive around the country, visiting each subscriber. Each will be given one hour with the text, or maybe slightly more if we're provided with lemonade or granola. Non-subscribers can visit our offices in San Francisco, where the issue will be available for viewing on our back porch. As usual, we're grateful for your faith and constancy.

--Eli Horowitz, chief editor for this issue.

December 21, 2005

About, like, life. or It's kinda dangerous to be an emcee-e-ee.

And so the horribly-named Playstation-sponsored Breed Love Odyssey tour looks less like a triumphant return and more like an exercise in the worst kind of nostalgia: the kind that doesn't realize it's nostalgia.

Pretty fun and devastating review of what Mos and Talib and some other Rawkus nerds are up to these days.

Don't give up. You still have friends.

Like a lot of the Improv Everywhere bits, I think this Suicide Jumper deal works better as a series of stills and descriptions than as a cut-up video (but I'm sure the realtime experience is optimal). The song choice is certainly fun on the video, though.

December 20, 2005

A cute little baaaby.

So the biggest standout by far on this Invite Them Up four-disc extravaganza?

A.D. Miles. And here's the track.

This guy is gooooood. Wow do I want more. So he was in Wet Hot American Summer, but I can't find any other substantive web presence. Bobby Tisdale says he's his best friend, but part of the fun of Bobby Tisdale is hearing him best friend in everyone who performs! From the above stand-up bit, I picture him as a kind of Rat Pack-y nerd mixemup -- but his WHAS look landed decidedly on the "nerd" part of that equation. Hilarious stuff though, boy.

Next up in terms of bringing the funny is Aziz Ansari. After seven months of reading the Apiary pimp this youngster, it was nice to finally hear some of his material. He's official. The real deal. He will make you laugh hard. Don't miss the classic M.I.A. bit: "For me? Right here? Is awesome." Guy's obviously schooled in the good rap music, so it's nice to hear that influence the comedy.

Finally, after seeing him perform as as a monologist during my week as a UCB groupie last spring, it's a delight to hear Tisdale's hosting banter. A Special Thingers will whine all day about Dane Cook being too much of a spaz, but Tisdale is the ultimate form of over-the-top cheerleading. And it's infectious. He's by far my favorite Kermit thee Frog-esque gay-drawlin' Carolinian comic.

Oh, that heavenly bacon. #002:

[I may have stuck a link to this on SL back in the glory days, but eff it. I actually have the product in question now, so...]

My seester got me these for my birthday today and unwittingly forced me into a life of cutting.

December 17, 2005

CASH!!!

So the Baldwin ep sucked after all (even though the monologue pretty much verbatimed up the nytimes piece -- complete with Greenhilly reprise!). Perhaps tonight's Jables-hosted affair can unseat the hated Dane Cook and his involvement in the best show of the [crappy] season?

Probably not. So here's the Scharpling-approved, iPod-ready Target Greatland skit from the Cook episode. Kristen "Dr. Pat" Wiig is quickly proving herself to be the new best thing going on SNL.

December 15, 2005

OH THAT DRUDGE. #003:

Minor Tweaks caught a fun one.

Lot's of fun! or WE RUN A TIGHT SHIP!

Agenda for today's office party:

11:30am – 12noon ………Meet/Greet/and Eat (Ice Breakers)
12pm – 12:15pm…………Present Prizes to winners of the ice breakers
12:15pm- 12:30pm………Holiday songs by our very own “new comer” - [name deleted] (Div. of Integrated Surv.)
Music and accompanying [name deleted] will be our very own - [name deleted]
12:30pm – 12:40pm………A special guest -performing a MIME
12:40pm – 12:50pm………Karaoke (taking volunteers now – There will be door prizes and lot’s of fun!)
12:50pm – 1:15pm………White Elephant (we ask everyone who would like to participate, please bring in a recycled gift or spend $10.00 or less.)

December 14, 2005

This is why no one likes you.

A list that goes with my favorite recent t-shirt acquisition.

What ith your query? #005:

I pretty much do all this crap when I leave work. JUST IN CASE. I'm not EVEN kidding.

Me, baby, ME.

Merry Christmas yourself up: iTunes music for .66 a track.

December 9, 2005

God bless the kid.

Just have him every year.

O for a Greenhilly reprise.

Televised Programming Bulletin. #003:

Don't miss this fantastic two-part Sesame Street Biography. Think of it as a televised companion to one of the greatest behind-the-scenes books around.

December 8, 2005

What ith your query? #004:

Following up on #003, I went ahead and stuck it out there. Lively discussion, no definitive answer; Red wins.

December 7, 2005

Son,

You got a panty on your [cylindrical projection texture map].

[via: Mr. Too Busy the Slow Redesigner]

Reverse psychology.

"You make someone think the opposite of what you believe and that tricks them into doing something stupid... works like a charm."

[note: unless you turn off self-reflection, this article will likely cause depression. "ans for a show!"]

December 6, 2005

Bob Power is in the house.

You're probably going to want to just skim this engineering and production-heavy four part Q&A. Scan for artist names and Native Tongue references and you'll get the juice. The thickest goodness can be found in part three.

Time to hunt down some MC Watchout. Get to work, DOP.

Little visitor.

Just being funny is cool.

Chris Rock likes good records. Put me down for The Chronic over Doggystyle, though.

Discoloration.

The SL will not be found in the text of this otherwise dinky piece.

[credit (!): OH, THAT DRUDGE.]

December 5, 2005

I’m on the corner; I’m pumpin’ just like a pumper do.

Juelz Santana - "Oh Yes"

Recipe for maybe liking this:

Day one: Play it. Dig the sample. Realize that that sample is the hook and that it will be with you for the entirety of the song. Start to wonder whether or not that tasty hook is going to hold up for the whole song. Worry that it won't. Stop the song before it's finished and promise yourself that you'll give it a shot the next day.

Day two: Play it again. Realize that it's pretty much impossible to not physically bounce and that this thing is going to be STUCK in your head.

[note: the above is RAP music that will hurt many of your delicate ears. if you'd like some equally tasty HIP HOP music, go grab the pretty King Seven ditty over at Scissorkick's place.]

December 2, 2005

常習的犯行。

It's unfortunate that the daily blah blah blah stomps beautiful imagery like the Banksy down the page so quickly. But there is a way to ensure a beautiful Recidivism experience all day long. It's called MEXICAN ORIENTAL.

November 29, 2005

Hard Times.

Now me and my Coq do the illest things /
we like to stomp out pimps with diamond rings

What ith your query? #003:

So I don't have to waste my weekly Ask.Mefi question on this, do any of you know how far back this phrase goes?:

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Most folks say Dodgeball. Turns out it at least goes back to Austin Powers: Goldmember. When I tried on justcurio.us, someone gave me Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. I haven't been able to verify that one.

If you break it down, it's got a nice developmental hook: "I just threw up" works as a simple mini-gross reaction. But the recent (?) addition of the "a little bit" specificity and locational "in my mouth" gives it a tasty Farrelly-esque bit of observational juice. The problem is that it's become completely played out. I was kinda disappointed to hear Poehler adlib it in on Conan last month. But it got me thinking.

Any of you yahoos know? If not, look for #004 to document what the Ask.Mefites can scrounge up. I'm hoping it goes back to like 1939.

Bam! Queerer!

That what I said when the first of these two Seu Jorge tracks blew out the speakers in Mrs. Amount's car. Kind of a weird song to blow your speakers out, but they were the factory Saturn deals: 8 years old and sunbaked. And I was playing the track pretty loudly.

Seu Jorge - "Bem Querer"
Seu Jorge - "Don't"

Both tracks are from his Cru record. The second of the two is an Elvis cover and is as beautiful as Jorge's recent Bowie business (of which there's now even more to grab).

November 28, 2005

Or sometimes one night shakin it at work.

Tiresmoker understands that the art of the sale resides in the telling of the tale.

Shot by:

A BUNCH OF PEOPLE.

Yuk yuck.

Is everyone around you really proud of themselves for knowing what tryptophan is? Have they been proud about this for the last few years? Laugh it up, cubeville.

November 23, 2005

Sell the dream! OR (*Small Businessman subscription NOT included)

optimism.jpg

November 22, 2005

Adrock hates US&A!

Seriously, all he's doing is remixing/producing all these people that don't have the common courtesy to speak proper American.

Teriyaki Boyz - "Beef or Chicken"

I thought that Lady SOV thing sounded BS2000-y, but no. THIS sounds the most BS2000-y of all. Perhaps to sound BS2000-y is to simply sound like Adrock's non-Beatsie Boy production? Blippy organ loopiness, dusty break, uptempo dancability. Here's a sample of that that you might not have listened to in a while:

BS2000 - "Yeah, I Like BS"

November 21, 2005

(bags).

The men working the platform were thrilled! [screenshot since I can't link to the intranet-based source.]

In other somewhat related news, rest assured that there will be no underwear relief efforts for Stacy Wilson and the women caught up in that mall shooting last week. Due to their split-second store selection, they've got it covered.

Keepin' busy.

Lunch break over at the House.

Prince Paul won't you please give Tom Hanks a haircut?

gross.jpgI guess it's for next year's Da Vinci Code movie, but man does Mr. Hanks look greasley these days (these images from the movie also kinda show it, but he was in full-force nasty on Larry David's Earth to America thing and Steve Martin's Mark Twain thing). In the upcoming Spielberg adaptation of the recent best seller, Hanks plays a cautious woman named Mona Lisa.

November 18, 2005

You can do it.

Some people then laid me on the floor.

It's official!

Omar can have children!

"Lol" is text short form for 'laughing out loud'.

November 17, 2005

OH, THAT DRUDGE. #002:

OBJECTS.jpg

Sorry.

Okay so maybe I take back my overly rash request that the BBoys quit recording music and instead request that they simply continue in a production-only capacity.

Lady Sovereign - "A Little Bit Of Shhh (Smallstars Remix by Adrock)"

Adrock's back in bouncy BS2000 mode on this remix. Fun.

Also, the Lady SOV Vertically Challenged EP that this is taken from has a clean version of "Random" that I'd not heard. It's slightly tricked out production-wise in a way that the original version (or the version I first heard) wasn't. It doesn't lose that devastating bass thing, but it maintains that devastatingly bad party chorus. Listen for the verses!

R.I.P. tall buddy.

10 bucks if you'll run hide in the woods long enough to get that crazy Mexican cartoon lady to think you're a bad guy.

November 16, 2005

Televised Programming Bulletin. #002:

American Lives will be a good show, I bet. I'll issue another bulletin (a reminder!) when the show starts airing next summer. Don't you worry!

Prime Minister's on the phone again, Sacha. Apply the 'stache.

I've let this story sit in a tab since Monday since there's so very little to it. But I can't let go of the fact that this Ashykbayev character actually thinks that some foreign power is purposely using Borat to denigrate his precious Kazakhstan.

What ith your query? #002:

A: Greater than three, apparently.

At one point there was a perfectly decent and snotty answer about how McSwy's was "swimming in hipster dough" and that this tegoo fellow should "stop bragging." A moderator deleted this response and killed the "stop bragging" SL/link-in plans that I had.

November 15, 2005

What ith your query? first in a series. #001:

yeth.jpg Most of the time this series will focus on the fun Ask.Mefi business, but I dig this alternative question/answer venue as well: justcurio.us. You gotta answer one to ask one, so prepare yourself for a tiny investment.

Recidivism Challenge: come up with a question that gets the most answers. My first one only got three. I've been steadily improving since then.

Mandel Watch. #004:

Comedians of Comedy favorite of faves Zach Galifianakis identifies the L.A. comedy scene's next big thing.

November 14, 2005

BEARDED PROFESSOR ASKED TO SIGN HIPSTER TEE, BUTTOCKS.

phillustration.jpgGeorge Saunders

Monday, November 14, 2005
RECEPTION: 6 p.m.
READING, 6:30 p.m.

Joseph W. Jones Room, 311 Woodruff Library, Emory University

I will be there with three naked dogs in my belly and a copy of Four Institutional Monologues (McSwy's Issue 4!). Anyone else in?

November 10, 2005

Cellophane that taunts.

I swear man, each new McSweeney's that arrives rachets up the game of packaging chicken. Do you go ahead and break the seal to get at the contents? You know you don't read these things anymore. You just like to hold them. So maybe you just put it on the shelf all pristine and wrapped up?

Whatever. I continue my streak of destructive devaluation with issue 17. Here it is as it arrived. Photographs of the gentle unveiling can be found after the jump.

mcswys as virgin

Continue reading "Cellophane that taunts." »

Televised Programming Bulletin, first in a series. #001:

banjo.jpgOld funny people: Last night PBS aired The Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. I haven't watched it yet. The prize went to a comedian called Steve Martin. TiVo made it look like it was going to air 58 more times though, so you should be good to go.

New[er] funny people: Tomorrow night that Comedians of Comedy thing kicks off on Comedy Central of Comedy. This show promised me that it would be as good and insider-y fun as that Quinn/Seinfeld commentary on the Comedian DVD.

November 9, 2005

You got your banjo in my hip-hop.

banjo.jpgPrince Paul & Newkirk - Showdown at the Hoedown
This is a new song. No vocals, so I'm not sure what Don's role was. Anyone know what he did besides cameo on Prince Paul productions? Anyone ever confirm if Newkirk is in fact, dun dun dunnnn, Prince Paul himself?

Mr. Lif - Farmhand
This is an old song. Lif released this back in '99 when Grand Royal was still trying to hang in there.

In other banJO news, Bob Dylan wanted to put mandolin and, wait for it, banjo on the Beastie Boy classic No Sleep Til Brooklyn. Hear more about that, Wu-bangers, P. Doodle Dandy, and Yauch's House of Prosthetics on this promo interview thingy for some greatest hits waste. At this point Beastie Boys should forgo their recording career and continue honing their improvisational interview skills. That's where their remaining potential lies these days.

That picture up there has nothing to do with anything in the textual guts here. But you know. Martin and Muppets and banjo, so you gotta use it when you can.

November 8, 2005

Mixed Nut's path to romantic success.

I don't have anything to add to mimi's description [near the bottom] of this rollup piano other than: DEAR SKYMALL, I WOULD LIKE A POSTER OF THIS IMAGE PLEASE.

Mandel Watch. #003:

Traditionally, whenever briefcase thirteen is opened, the audience usually issues a low hush. Up until the 2005 season of the show, when number twenty-six was opened, the audience let loose with a loud shout of "boo yeah!" for no apparent reason. The shout of "boo yeah" was later abandoned in the 2005 season onwards, seemingly because it made the show's rules appear overly complex to the casual viewer.

-- excerpt from Deal or No Deal's Wikipedia entry.

Let us all pray that Mandel sacrificies a bit of rule complexity and brings back the "boo yeah" [sic].

The Game's out there, and it's play or get played.

Michael K. Williams preps for the upcoming education-focused season of The Wire by handing out the first report card ("SATISFACTORY -- needs to apply himself").

Also, I didn't realize that he was up in this recent batch of Trapped in the Closet videos. So I'll be tracking that mess down a little faster than I'd planned.

November 6, 2005

Outfitted by 826 Valencia.

Not terrorists, or thieves, or whatever. We still call them pirates?

November 5, 2005

Do we know e-commerth? You bet we do.

Seriously, the breakdown is THE BEST.

Obligatory SNL reference-pt. = Oracle Conclave 2005.

November 1, 2005

Movable gobos (a type of baffle).

This is a year-old article that has some really nifty inside bits about how the BBoys created "Ch-Check It Out." The rest of the piece is a bit annoyingly celebratory for an album that nobody has listened to since it came out, but the anatomy of the song part is worth a read.

Why am I just now finding and posting this? Because Mike D rocks a black stroller.

I'll take the force of the blow.

Good news for you losers without the dual tuners.

October 31, 2005

Mandel Watch. #002:

"Deal" me in! Ha ha.

Mandel previously turned down the chance to host a fun Jew Not a Jew retread.

You've Lost That Loving Feeling.

Nice catch over at The Superficial.

Tom Shillue Recovers From Tiger Attack, Performs In Monkeytown

I wasn't even trying to verify our good friend Tom Shillue's 2AM story about having "just [come] from one" of those fantasy clubs that are way, way too far from Atlanta -- when I stumbled across proof over in Peretti-ville. And holy fun times, fellow SHAC-er and most magnetic of any of the Stella neighbors Andrea Rosenrosen hosted this night of storytelling.

Note: Our mid-90s Babyfat (loved pre-Ultra prefix. hardcore.) crush Shonali Bhowmik was apparently not there. Also note that the SL on this post contains both "Tiger" and "Monkey" in it and was crafted as a play on the previously discussed Shilluefreid and Roy slam and was in no way consciously influenced by Shonali's new band name. My brain just rules and is even better at crafting clever connections than me is all.

Still: We live in the completely wrong city.

[This post might as well have been brought to you by The Apiary.]

October 28, 2005

Pancakes!

The hed on this story is straight out of Late Night with David Letterman circa 1986.

[note: bonus coverage here.]

Mr. Posey.

Doesn't sound like he was nearly as bad as Natasha Lyonne.

October 26, 2005

I have no idea what these nerds are talking about.

"It could rip, some have speculated, or get attacked. ... We know there will be long, strong string. That will be inevitable."

What are you saying?

It all just burns me up and makes me want to OPENLY RIDICULE them.

Look, if the Sports Guy already has it.

It's floating around out there. We really need to track down this script.

The minimum rigamarole.

October 24, 2005

6)

Also, to sum it up, it’s a story about a pedophile.

October 21, 2005

Don't subscribe to nerdvii-iiiiille.

Here's is an outdated post just in time for you to care more about video podcasts (I'll hit the highlights there soon enough). Audio podcasts are largely the suck. But I've got a few that I like.

My favorite is by a NY standup called Tom Shillue. He weaves slow, meandering tales that fill a commute with laughter and introspection. Pretty much just laughter. I think this one works because it's not so much a traditional podcast with people playing dress-up radio as it is an opportunity for him to just shoot out an occasional chunk of his stage material. I wish more standups were doing this. And I hope T. Shillue checks his site stats and reads this, because check out what I'm about to say: he looks like a total goober. I'm glad I listened to his standup before I saw him posing minus the white tiger.

Every once in a while when I'm in the mood for the magic of movies, I'll check out Cinecast. I don't go to movies anymore so it's nice to hear people talk about them. They do fun top five lists (top 5 buddy movies, top 5 overrated movies, top 5 movies featuring blacks, etc.). Bonus: one of the dudes sounds exactly like Survivor's Rob Cesternino.

Anyone remember Star Wars? It had some robots and monkees. I've been known to put on my pants and listen to TheForce.net's extravaganza.

Don't waste your time with the stupid Arrested Development show summaries. Just give me snippets from the show proper and I'll be happy.

Do waste your time with the Jerk Boy Lite-isms of the Z100 Morning Zoo's Phone Taps! They call people and prank them! And the people they call have short fuses and are all Sopranos or otherwise from New Jersey. Note: my sarcastic enthusiasm is meant to hide the fact that I actually listen to and enjoy these.

And finally, get your SNOOT on!

"Sheer" enjoyment? Or "shear" enjoyment?

Ha ha!

October 20, 2005

If I'm going to have them on the record, I have to have them on the tour.

hiphopmath.jpg

You are like bull.

The SL I sucked out of this Russian altitude chamber article immediately reminded me of a scene from this:

likebull.jpg

But this image is even more bizarrely appropriate (even if it pretty much lacks any direct relation to the article).

October 19, 2005

Here it comes.

After tomorrow, if I'm behind the wheel, you're going to need to get out of my swervified way. No I'm not smoking weed -- I'm watching WEEDS. Ha ha.

October 18, 2005

“But I want to say it,” Silverman said.

It feels good.”

October 17, 2005

Primitive bookmarking.

Especially that macho David Cross a-hole.

Kind of a lot of blah blah to get to the SL's punchline, but it struck me as a pretty hilarious new insanity diagnosis method. Those voices in your head are just that of well-known hair-plugged comedians, man.

October 13, 2005

Brimful of Asha and Honey.

October 12, 2005

Yeah yeah, but who won?

Too bad the Powerade-sponsored video of the wreck doesn't show Allen's "main" fingers getting tip-ground.

October 7, 2005

Mandel Watch, first in a series. #001:

You know how you know you're bored? You're just Googling around and you stumble across the fact that there is a promo-only, extended mix of Do the Watusi floating around. Who extended it? Did they play this version in dance clubs?

And good luck tracking down this comedy album anymore. No Ebay, no Half, no Amazon, no Slsk. Hope you kept the cassette, ha ha! I'm pretty sure that mine is buried in a box stuck to a Slurpee-encrusted Dire Straits tape.

So key.

[The 'gum did a bit of additional sleuthing and found some pics of the participants.]

October 6, 2005

For real though.

Don't you typically wait until the recent urinal arrivals have cleared out before you emerge from a stall? I may have finished my business, but if there are newcomers, I'll let them zip, wash, and exit before I make my grand exit. Some dudes around here emerge while I'm at the sink and I'm all trying not to act like "Oh, hi Tony. It was you who heated this place UP with your noxious waste."

Also: don't try to tell me that you can top my day. I did my business and looked down to find a perfectly formed uppercase G! BOOM! WITH the right angle. Yeah, shut UP, with the right angle. I'm pretty sure I've got the L and the I down, maybe an O, so I'm really moving through the ALPHABET. Goal for us all: complete the 26 WITHOUT special acrobatics. Just regular accidentally awesome style.

Angelic/demonic is the new fast/slow.

Did someone say they wanted to try out some Norwegian Christian Metal? Cause I thought I heard that.

Extol - Essence.

The chorus on this thing is beautiful. The rest will likely annoy most of you. Some of you will be okay with all of it.

Mad, phat beats and comedy jokes will resume shortly, unless I put up one of the winners from the new Stryper record.

October 5, 2005

Eddy Gordo.

Here's you some of that Dane Cook fella. I dove into his catalog with a fair bit of resistance -- his facebook/myspace/standupster origin story had me fearing he'd be a bit too fratboy genericomedy. And I still have yet to actually see him perform; I've just listened to an album and a half.

But he's funny. Nothing groundbreaking, but I laughed on and off throughout the hour and a half or so of material I've heard so far. He's definitely got a few enunciation and vocabulary tricks that push him over the edge and into really good: a little bit of the Brian Regan crispness with some Jables flair mixed in. Aurally (again, no visuals save the EW stills), he's a perfect mashup of Marky Mark as Dirk Diggler crossed with Jeffery P. Corcoran. That should garner a listen or two, no?

[UPDATE: He's an acrobat, and he steals material from Louis C.K. Not so hot. We're supposed to hate him after all.]

October 4, 2005

On record.

October 3, 2005

Amy Poehler has acne?

And Steve Carell is a SWEATY-LIPPED COKE-HEAD.

Pancakes!

September 30, 2005

I'm so in love.

I could read this list all day long.

September 29, 2005

Do you smell carrots?

SNOWMEN.gif

Owen Wilson, Borat, laffer about stand-up comedy duo, HBO, Rick Rubin.

You know. Just stuff that's kinda interesting all jammed up in a single Variety article.

Dirty.

I'd frequent a blog or somesuch thing that devoted itself to this kind of thing: handing your old (? or maybe just very familiar?) music over to the unknowing and transcribing their gut-level culturally now-ish reactions.

Hard to care much anymore.

But Ricky Powell news would have made your life for a minute back in the early to mid-90s. I've still got my Rappin' with the Rickster VHS if anyone wants to computer it up.

Sometimes, what we need the most...

...is just around the corner.

September 28, 2005

Alec Empire: This beat we use so many times.

It's no The Break, but it's a good, familiar listen.

Still, dude has 8 more years of Internet to mine, 8 more years of technology to work with, and we end up watching a self-pressed record spin in a room. Ain't no aural navigation going on here, boy!

September 27, 2005

"No, he's looking at a photograph." "Of you?"

freelove.jpg

SNAKES ON A PLANE.

[Totally unrelated to the wonderful story about this that Omar mentioned in the comments here.]

Lance pants.

------------------------------------
drds_boss.jpgFrom: Omar
Date: Sep 27, 2005 7:47 PM
Subject: The Wit and Wisdom of Thomas Sizemore.
To: x-amount

"I don't like to watch women pee that much, but I'd rather do that than bomb Iraq." --Tom Sizemore, in a clip from his upcoming "sex tape".

I was gonna throw this on the GH, but I figured the nuns at DRD's nunnery would read it while peering over his shoulder and he'd get beat with a ruler until he bled.

The clip I saw is a bizarre mixture of goofiness and NATURAL BORN KILLERS-y menace. The above quote is the main pull of note. I did also chuckle when Tom tested out one prostitute's vibrator on his testicles (through some spandex shorts -- for some reason, Tom is frequently dressed as though he was a participant in the Tour de France.)

September 26, 2005

RAY'S DOCKWORKER FRIEND.

Part I and Part II of a War of the World's screenwriter tale.

S1W for life.

While it's fun to read of Eric's PE past, it's important to note that the album itself will be butt.

September 22, 2005

Schoolhouse Funk III.

Okay boys, you can be in band. But only if we move to Minneap-olis.

September 21, 2005

Ideal for: Your "Boo."

This is precious.

Don't you hate it when a Juice Box leaks?

After one listen, I was kinda weirded out by the lack of stickiness. After the third, I'm a bit more okay with the mess. We'll see, I guess. YOU make the call.

You got to know your chicken.

We already know the Shadow track is good. And the Boyz themselves are the most entertaining non-English speaking rappers I've ever heard (take that MC Solaar!). But I'm still gonna go ahead and make the prediction that if the Adrock track sucks there will only be one salvageable track on the whole thing.

September 20, 2005

Maeby?

No, we're definitely going to the Shrek premiere.

Yo Meth, where my Tickle Me Elmo at?

How you ain't got my Elmo when I let you hold it?

New York Post, don't brag and boast.

I remember back before the big blogging hexplosion I'd send Red goofy stories and links (Live Your Dreams!) from places like the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. And Red'd be all "Yeah, right. Like you're really sitting around reading the Seattle Post-Intelligencer." I'd respond with silence. And then he'd turn into angry, frustrated Red and blurt out "SERIOUSLY, where do you find this crap?!" And I'd just tell him that I really did spent large chunks of my day reading various web-enabled local newspapers. I certainly didn't just pick the juicy business from The Obscure Store and Reading Room (ha ha. joke's up! a winner is you!).

And but so yeah, the main reason I know about this upcoming Public Enemy comic book is because I spend large chunks of my day perusing Glyphs: The Language of the Black Comics Community.

September 18, 2005

The color of resignation.

September 16, 2005

It's gotta be the monkey, monkey number one!

It's no Stricitly [sic] Crocka, but what is? Let's get some cats, let's buy some cats!

PERETTI is the one who shewed me and the one what makes me happy these days.

Red starts seeing green.

"This has become a moneymaking concern. A lot of people say if you want to go abroad and get a visa for Canada or citizenship and be a millionaire, [then meet me after school at three o' clock, Weiner.]"

Guam with yo' bad self.

This guy must be removed from the Internet. Why does he insist on using that middle name all up in his business. He's gonna break my clean and clear Google traceability with that crap. I've got "a few words" for YOU, Michael Teague: Just be Michael Teague. Anonymous, one of many, Michael Teague. If you gotta funk it up, at least go Alex P. Keaton on us. But quit putting that middle name right next to that last name like you use it or something. And also, born in 1973? What is he trying to pull? Next up: a webful of "siblings" with personal "websites" and blogs. JERK.

It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a Chinese whore.

A couple of things. Burt Reynolds/Turd Ferguson was clearly the funniest recurring character in the series. Hammond's Connery was amusing (and the source of the hilarious category misreadings), but the fact that Hammond played his SNL career so incredibly boringly safe means that he got to keep his wacky Connery going longer than the fired-for-no-funny Macdonald. Also, it's kinda weird that this skit has become such a CollegeHumor phenomenon considering the CollegeHumorKing Ferrell essentially plays the straight man for the whole series.

And on second Google, maybe it is the Reynolds that sucks in the college kids? I always assumed it was the big-audience-reaction-receiving Connery. Who knows. Go do your research papers, comedy majors.

September 15, 2005

I'm sure she was pissed.

This image will be all across the entire world of you today, but I don't care. I love the question mark too much to not post it up.

September 12, 2005

Crap. Really?

189. (9 September) Everybody Hates Chris, 1.1 **

I was all set to pop the DVD in tonight. What's up with all this advance word then?

Li'l looter.

September 10, 2005

I am TEH NERD.

But man, this is clever.

September 8, 2005

Strangebone and Awe.

I kinda feel like if I was ever going to visit New Orleans again, now would be a pretty horrifically fascinating time to do so.

Post-post update: Whoah. Looks like Strangebone has some broken level of web presence? And has some affiliation with Tigerbeat6?

September 7, 2005

Halarry S. Pages.

Chris Ware coming to the Times.

Related: his new collection is gorgeous perfection.

Mork calling Orson.

The event ended with R&B star Kanye West performing his hit songs "All Falls Down" and "Gold Digger" for the crowd. He thanked Jobs for allowing him to perform, and added, "Thank you for making my life much easier. I remember when I had tapes."

Fantastic quote from Mr. West.

VOTE!

NARM!

September 1, 2005

Refresh.

Slow burn, but man we've got some NEWS these days.

Poydras. P-p-p-p-poydras.

August 31, 2005

National treasure.

Thanks to The Onion's hott-as-in-plain redesign, I caught this fun oldie (Carrot Top ref! Crappy stand-up week on the GH!).

August 30, 2005

More like Spinnach Torso, ha ha.

I know you were pretty surpised by W. Anderson's unusually toned upper body. But you haven't seen anything until you've seen Carrot's Effing Top. Related: the fuel on the rider.

August 25, 2005

Anyone remember Foregone Conclusion?

Item 1: I think I posted this on the E at some point, but I've picked it back up via the RSS feed. Delicious daily nuggets. Like this one: All grand. And don't miss the new-for-2005 sister site.

Item 2: Spy on people's SMS messages to each other. Fun! The hook-up-y stuff is pretty standard, but then you get gems like folks being tent-appreciative.

And with that we close out our Welcome Back to the Nunnery, Dr. Red Duke post.

August 24, 2005

have you ever benefited from a smallcap?

These are dinky and nowhere near as arty as the original draw-the-phrase deal, but there are some clever ones lurking about in the mix.

August 23, 2005

Inflatable turtle.

And the headline's not too shabby either.

August 17, 2005

Mr. Chocolate.

Ten bucks to anyone who can produce footage of Timothy Treadwell's Love Connection appearance.

August 16, 2005

I ain't saying he a rap producer.

Gold Digger [ft. Jamie Foxx] - Kanye West.

A month or so ago, I was gonna post this second Kanye track up with a note about how I still hadn't heard any of the Jon Brion influence in any of the Late Registration leaks. But I forgot.

But then I go and read this and find out that this is their first, key collaboration? Weird. Whateva eva though. It's crazy catchy.

And I'm gonna be all screwed up when the non-clean version comes out and I'm stuck singing "broke, broke" in the chorus.

Extras for Yanks. #002.

"I've got Jeremy Clarkson's clothes."
-Andy Millman, Extras 1.3

Related link from the delicious (seriously, browse around in there -- only a few months old and we've got some gems) Recidivism archives: "I want to talk about middle-aged men."

Spielberg's chief special effects guy?

Reed Rothchild. And I'm pretty sure that Buck's gonna be doing the sound design.

August 13, 2005

Exciting casting news.

The always enjoyable Michael Clarke Duncan ["The Island"]!

August 12, 2005

He looks like Zippy from Rainbow.

Here's your annotation for one of the "huh?" Brit jokes in Extras 1.2.

I might TiVo this one.

But probably not, so let me know how it turns out.

August 10, 2005

The price is right.

I love the Danger Doom record [no consistency with the name yet: Danger Doom, Dangerdoom, DangerDoom]. LOVE IT. But it doesn't come out until October and the version making the rounds skips more than Marc Price. So that sucks big time. I keep listening anyway. I'll have weird mental adjustment tics for a while when settling in with the retail version, but I don't care.

Danger Doom - Old School [ft. Talib Kweli]

August 9, 2005

Explore in peace?

More like rest in peace. Booyaka. That's your face, Buzz Lightyear.

This ain't funny, so don't you dare laugh.

Hard to read this article without thinking about the ramifications it might have on another drug-trade-focused season of The Wire.

August 8, 2005

Don S. says:

"Theorem? Heavens no. That's a fact!"

Worst video game ever though.

He did it out you'd do it. But it's still fun to follow along.

August 4, 2005

Walking, talking?

walkingtalking.jpgJamie Lidell - What's the Use?

One of the smoother cuts from his new Multiply record. I've been listening to this one for the past couple of months. It's great. Some Stevie Wonder, some Money Mark, some have even said Jammerqueer! Yeeha! Uh oh! Shhh!

Anyway, the record's dusty and oldish but with some fun 2000-now production flourishes thrown in to keep you digging with each subsequent listen.

August 3, 2005

How's your Huey Lewis? And the News?

(It's rare that I'm this pleased with an SL selection. Get it right, girl!)

August 2, 2005

Wankdorf on soccer.

Best legit headline in quite a while.

Here I come to save the day.

Finally.

This part is fascinating:


A tiny speaker inside Mighty Mouse produces button-clicking and Scroll Ball-rolling sound effects.

July 29, 2005

The thrill of victory and the agony of an elbow to the face.

Dude's nose was bleeding afterward. But he powered on and finished his DJ set anyway...

Get a pedicure, get your hair did.

And then strap that toy on your arm.

July 27, 2005

I remember one time you had an assist on me. Pretty sweet.

In-game, fascinating but annoying. Out of context and without the sting of defeat? Like crack for my ears.

July 23, 2005

Dancin' Randys.

Well, it's only been like ten years, but I finally get to use that particular SL to maximum effect. Red, Mixed Nut: I'll call the paramedics to resuscitate.

July 22, 2005

Doowutchyalike.

This doesn't make me happy anymore, it makes me miserable and a drug addict.

-Shock G., on why he's quitting hip-hop. Who will utilize their nose in numerically high 60s digits to tickle rears now? Who will get busy in Burger King bathrooms? Think of the kids, Hump!

July 20, 2005

A big nose.

The real-life Ron Burgundy spells it out. CLASSIC.

Not this year.

Not ever.

On a deserted island no one can save your runny mascara.

Music's a nice choice, everyone looks hott, but man does this UK promo not work.

July 18, 2005

The SuperMax TurboAwesome BomberMan 3 Special Edition.

From CNN.com:

bomberman.jpg

A judge Monday sentenced confessed serial bomber Eric Rudolph to life in prison without the possibility of parole for the deadly 1998 bombing at a Birmingham, Alabama, women's clinic. Rudolph likely will serve his time at a "supermax" federal prison in Florence, Colorado, which also houses "Unabomber" Ted Kaczynski and Ramzi Yousef, mastermind of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing.

July 13, 2005

Public Enemy Numero Uno.

My name is Arturo Montoya. I killed your father. I'm preparing to be extradited.

In his honor -- and because Photoshopping a sombrero on Chuck D would have been too obviously not working while at work:

Evolution Control Committee - "Rebel Without a Pause".

July 8, 2005

This marketing could not possibly be any more viral.

So horribly lovely.

Why 2005 won't be like 1984.

Glad to see Ridley Scott got out okay:

alien, macintosh, or london terror?

Call to all Woodersons.

It is FRI day! Once you get your stuff together after work and prepare to hit the strip between the bowling alley and the Sonic, you need to pop this into the 8-track mp3 player of your t-top:

Diamond Nights - "Destination Diamonds".

[credit: the Gum]

July 7, 2005

Worst name in the history of terrorism.

From CNN:

BREAKING NEWS A group calling itself the "Secret Organization group of al-Qaeda of Jihad in Europe" claims London blasts. Details soon.

heybro.jpg

"Hey bro, why don't you streamline it man? Something like Euro-al-Qaeda?"

Can we all move to NYC please?

The UCB is on fire this month.

July 6, 2005

You continue to amaze.

Seriously, I'm so freaking ready for BB6. BRING IT. Here's a blog supposedly being written by one of the dudes in the house. Here's an interview with someone that played house tester prior to the real ones moving in.

Tomorrow night it begins.

The government's in GRIDLOCK.

Admiral Stockdale's joyride has ended.

July 5, 2005

The pipes really ARE broken.

Mixed Nut-only (I think) on this one. But man is it hilariously awesome.

**

That QV guy sure is watching some crap telly this summer. At least he dug up a clip from that Extras show!

July 3, 2005

FINALLY.

A guard against over-insertion!

July 2, 2005

Where wings take dream.

July 1, 2005

Break out the hankies.

Looks like Kottke and Red's worst fears are coming true.

Set adrift on a wicker chair.

Did anyone else catch PM Dawn on Hit Me Baby One More Time last night? What the eff was up with Prince Be? He was like half-blind, half 90 years old.

June 30, 2005

Nazi.

So Stella was very good. Season Pass it up. It kinda feels like an updated take on ZAZ-style comedy.